Inexplicable Ways

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  On a summer morning
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  this way and that way
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  each of us going on
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  --Mary Oliver
  

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Due Date

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on January 25, 2008

What do you do on a due date such as this?  Today I should be bulging with belly.  I would complain with some pride about my backache and my difficulty sleeping.  I would be toying with ideas of spicy food, acupressure, sex, herbal teas, or maybe, the dreaded castor oil.  I would spend hours doing Yoga.  I would make final preparations–are those tiny cloth diapers spotless and handy?  Is that a dog hair on my chocolate Moby?  Have the ceilings been scrubbed?  Video camera charged?  Birth supplies ready?  I would be vibrating with the excitement of birth.  Would it be as beautiful this time?  Would I choose waterbirth or something different?  What new strength would I find?  What newness would I learn of God? 

Instead, here I am–drinking caffeinated coffee with flat(ish) belly; knowing I’ve already learned new lessons and God is as with me today as he was in September.  And the strength–I have already found it and carry it with me today.  My husband already caught this baby and we have already held him.   

Today means that I can release the last breath I’ve been holding.  And breathe in the deep of the Child already given to us whose name is Peace.          

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This entry was posted on January 25, 2008 at 3:31 pm and is filed under Beauty. Tagged: God, miscarriage, Moby wrap, Pregnancy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

8 Responses to “Due Date”

1. 

   Laura said

   January 25, 2008 at 3:45 pm

   This post brought tears to my eyes my dear friend. I pray that GOD holds you and Scott so very tightly today, as I know he will.

   Reply
2. 

   Rhonda Janes said

   January 25, 2008 at 5:11 pm

   Wow, Julie. God is so good even when things go the way we don’t understand. Hang in there, and I hope you have a peaceful day. God bless you!

   Reply
3. 

   Hippie said

   January 25, 2008 at 6:59 pm

   The Asheville Janes love the Byers of Clemson

   Reply
4. 

   Sally said

   January 25, 2008 at 9:19 pm

   I’m here, and we love you. His name is Peace, and isn’t wonderful at we know Peace?

   Reply
5. 

   carey said

   January 26, 2008 at 12:42 am

   beautifully said… and tenderly thought. you are amazing.

   Reply
6. 

   Janet said

   January 31, 2008 at 9:06 pm

   Julie, I read Leaf’s birth story a few weeks ago and have been thinking of you since. I thought of a poem today that I had not thought of in a very long time, by E. E. Cummings. I hope you don’t mind if I link it for you:

   http://poetry.eserver.org/somewhere.txt

   Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.

   Reply
7. 

   inexplicableways said

   January 31, 2008 at 10:43 pm

   Janet–thank you for sharing that poem. I had not read it before. ee cummings always captures emotions so piercingly. Perfect.

   Reply
8. 

   Margaret Stephens said

   February 6, 2008 at 12:54 am

   Yes, I am slow in catching up with your blog, but blame it on the ‘dial-up’ world that I live in…I am not, however, slow in tearing up at the very thought of my little grandson that I never cradled on this side of earth.
   I love you, my precious, and thank God every day for the mother of my granddaughter.
   Mom

   Reply

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