Monthly Archives: May 2008

Missing me one place search another

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Upstate Childbirth Education and Doula Services has a new home!  We’re now in the lovely Waldrep building near the corner of N. Main and Stone Ave.  It is so nice to be in a place with no hint of sheet rock dust!  Of course, as always, we continue to serve our clients in the birthplace of their choice:  hospital, home, or birth center.  We go where they go!

Our email newsletter will be going out soon with a full calendar of upcoming events in our new home.  If you haven’t signed up for the newsletter, click on over to UCEDS and type your email in the top right corner to keep up with our happenings.  I hope we’ll see you at the next Blessingways on June 28.  Leia will be sharing her birth story and we’ll have a special topic on “Going Green in the Nursery.” 

Ok, shameless plug is over…

Till Human Voices Wake Us, Or Why I Wish Doulas didn’t Exist

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I imagine if you visited a culture in which birth was considered a normal event–a visible part of the community–the idea of hiring a doula would be laughable.  Your intuitive knowledge of birth would be intact.  You would believe that since you figured out how to digest your food and how to wake up after sleeping, you would, indeed, know how to birth.  And the people around you would let you.

In our culture, birth is private.  Typically we retreat into the den of medicine, technology, and malpractice to celebrate our journey into motherhood.  Once entangled in this trinity, we are pinned and wriggling on the wall so how should we presume?

And we need instruction and authority and equipment to deliver. 

Some families hire a doula.  A woman who has attended many types of births.  A woman who can navigate the intricacies of the system.  I do believe that whether planning a medicated birth, a cesarean, or a low intervention experience, families can enjoy the best outcomes with a doula at their side.  The doula becomes the surrogate community that is missing in our culture–she provides support from early pregnancy coffee shop talks to postpartum home visits.  And she is the advocate–working for the family and no one else; no hidden agendas, no judgement, and no insurance company to answer to.  And–she is pretty inexpensive considering she is on call 24/7 for you.  She’s less expensive than an epidural and probably less expensive than the bill from your wedding florist.  

The fact that the profession of doula exists is merely one symptom of a deep isolation, fear, mystery, and sterility surrounding birth.  So while I love being a doula, I’m sad that the profession is necessary.  I wish that our community guarded the sacred transformative power of birth instead of timing it, numbing it, sterilizing it, insuring it, managing it.

Following Huck

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Before Norah was born, we painted the words “Follow Huck” on the walls of her nursery.  I’m a fan of Huck Finn (though not so fond of Tom Sawyer).  He had an honest soul and a seeker heart.  He searched for truth even when “sivilized” society taught a different morality.  I’m not sure what deep rivers Norah will cross but I pray Grace will be her raft.   

Ok, and maybe I hope she’ll keep holding our hands…

Pregnancy Podcasts

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I found some great podcasts at PregTASTIC.  I listened to Barbara Harper, founder of Waterbirth International, discuss the chemical effects of buoyancy and Dr. Jack Newman  talk about breastfeeding.  I loved the two-series podcasts with Maria Mongan who developed hypnobirthing.  I have several more loaded in my ipod and hope to listen to them when Norah is sleeping in the car.      

Ride the Water

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Tonight we loaded up for a quick paddle and picnic.  It was Norah’s first time in a kayak.  She loved the canoe last summer so we knew she would have fun.  She’s been asking to “ride the water.” 

 

Aside from the difficulty in getting her out of the water and saying goodbye to the geese (she had to blow kisses to each of them), it was a sweet time!

Wedding Ring–Found!

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For those of you who commiserated with me over my lost wedding ring–I found it! 

I knew my ring was on the bathroom counter.  An hour later, it had been absconded.  The culprit:  an adorable 2 year old.  When asked where mommy’s ring was, Norah confidently and immediately pointed to the air vent saying she “put it there safe.”  When we looked in the air vent, we discovered that she had indeed put a few things in there (another one of her sneaky packrat places).  But no sign of the ring.  Then Scott thought he saw it down the sink drain and commenced to taking apart pipes.  No ring. 

I searched every hiding place I could think of.  I found her hairbrush (she hates that instrument of torture).  I found some money.  I found an energy bar.  I FINALLY found my ring.  It was in a tiny drawstring bag inside a bathroom drawer.  Whew.  Lesson learned and crisis over.

Go Hug a Midwife!

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Today is International Midwives Day!  Hooray for the babycatchers.  Sal wrote a great post on midwives.  Go check it out. 

Here is one of my favorite midwives:

Feel Like Stretching Your Mind a Bit?

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Really?  You’re really at a place in which you can open up to a perhaps unfamiliar idea? 

You’re sure?  Alright…head on over here and watch the promo. 

As mentioned in the end of the clip, more and more mindful couples are following this map and rejecting the old stories and images of fear.   

Pigs Anyone?

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I’m talking “Pass the Pigs.”  Best game on the planet.  Have you passed some pigs? 

I’ll never forget evenings around the Nicewongers’ dining room table; all of us “camp folk” stuffed from Judy’s feast and Dick’s pork tenderloin grilled on the Weber.  While we tried (successfully) to find room for Judy’s peanut butter pie, Dick would bring out the pigs.  We leaned forward in our chairs, some even stood, as the electric charge of competition lit the room.  It was on.  Each of us with our own special technique–pig kisses, the wrist flip, Dick’s special cup toss, the hand roll–we passed pigs late into the NY night. 

Don’t know about the pigs?  Hang in here with me, it gets complicated.  You have these two tiny pigs and you throw them.  The positions in which they land give you points.  The piggies touch and you lose it all.  Toss a Double Leaning Jowler and you hit the jackpot.  I told you it was complicated. 

Snouter/Razorback

So the next time you’re planning a camping trip, pack the pigs.  The next time you have some friends over, bring out the pigs and the peanut butter pie. 

Pig out.     

The Absurd

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Today’s absurdities:

  • The “Breastfeeding Resources” kit given to expectant moms, grandmoms, and anyone in the vicinity by Enfamil (my neighbor table at the Seneca Baby Fair).  The boxes of 1st Trimester Gift Packs stacked several feet against a back wall.
  • A flyer from Bi-Lo titled “Make Mother’s Day Memorable” advertising tampons, deodorant, dish detergent, dog food, and potato chips.  The outside flap claims “Great Ideas for Mother’s Day” showcasing personal lubricant, hair coloring, shaving gel, more deodorant, and acne cream.
  • A NICU nursery insistent on giving a very newborn formula because the mom’s pumped colostrum is “not nearly enough.”
  • My wearing of a baby doll all morning at the baby fair and the La Leche League leader who borrowed said doll for her breastfeeding demo.  At least the baby was attached and well-fed.

Ah but there was beauty today, too–sweet friends who joined me at the Enfamil Fair, ahem, I mean, Baby Fair.  Kelly, Jenny, and Denise made the time pass quickly.  Kelly’s sweet sleeping 30lb’er in the ring sling was excellent marketing!  And Jenny kept changing carriers–she was like a runway model for babywearing.  A lovely newborn nursery RN who took all my babywearing fliers to give to her moms and wished for slings at the hospital.  And my amazing husband who took his daughter and his mom on a breakfast date to Panera, caulked the shower, washed my car, and watered my garden.  But the highlight of the day–a family nap with daughter snuggled between us and the beginnings of rain watering my garden…again.