It is something I constantly remind myself. It doesn’t matter if no one sees what I’m doing by appearing to do nothing.

a few months latter, same hospital, same midwife. client has had a long, hard labor, is lying in bed, very much relaxing thru contractions. it has been awhile since mw has been around, i start feeling like maybe we should get her up, try something new. but i really think i only felt that b/c i was worried about what this mw would think, and knew she would be coming back in a few minutes. i mention changing positions to midwife as she enters, she says, “oh, no hurry, she’s doing fine.”

i don’t know. i kind of think that i was right in following my instincts in letting the women be. i think i was starting to worry about what the midwife thought about how good of a job i was doing, instead of following my gut, and listening to the clues that the mothers were giving off as they labored.

and i still ? the mw’s mixed signals.
thank you for this post, as a new doula, i appreciate being reminded of where my place is, even tho i still feel like i’m trying to find it(!)

sorry i wrote a book here!!

your post reminds me of an unfortunate incident with my midwife during my second son’s birth. she offered to break my water .. i was, to say the least, extremely surprised. and displeased. i didn’t think i should be better informed than my midwife. (it was, unfortunately, the only midwife in my midwife rotation that i *didn’t* like, and murphy’s law determined she would, indeed, be my midwife during the birth.) anyway, when i said, why oh WHY would i want you to do that?! she replied, “some people just want a change.”

sigh.