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Monthly Archives: October 2009

The Treats

Halloween is my husband’s favorite holiday.  Something about Autumn+Candy+Cartoons+Costumes makes for his perfect day.

From our first year of marriage, I’ve been making ghoulish Halloween treats to celebrate the day.  This year, I wanted them to be a bit healthier.

My spinach hummus graveyard:

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The swamp juice and Jack:

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The swamp juice is made with tapioca pearls with a swedish fish floating about.  I had planned to use seltzer water and lemonade but found a drink called “Snow” I wanted to try from Amazing Savings.  It was yummmm.

Jack is a gutted orange filled with fruit pieces. 

Scott drew the line at the raisins I wanted to hand out as treats to trick-or-treaters.  We settled on bags of pretzels and candy.

High Needs

You may have picked up from some of my posts that parenting Cedar has kicked my butt.  If Norah was high needs then Cedar is “higher needs.”  How did I manage to have two of these wee blessings?  I’m starting to wonder if I create these babies somehow through my parenting.  My friends keep telling me that the third baby is always mellow.  Well, no thanks.  I think I’ll stick with two. 

IMG_c5066Dr. Sears describes 12 characteristics of the high needs baby:

  • Intense:  these babies do not clear their throat.  They bellow.  A few times I’ve worried that Cedar might have damaged my eardrum with her screams.
  • Hyperactive:  when she is awake her breathing is rapid and she seems almost nervous.  Her legs and arms are moving and her eyes are wide.  Think baby on caffeine.
  • Draining:  check
  • Feeds frequently:  Cedar only nurses for comfort at night.  So we don’t have this one so much.  She is all business when it comes to feeding during the day.
  • Demanding:  When she needs me, there is little warning or warm-up.  There is an urgency to high needs babies.  Of course, no baby should be ignored but I cannot imagine how one would ignore a high needs one.
  • Awakens frequently:  This one is true; however, because we co-sleep, I’m skin-to-skin with her and she does not cry at night.  She settles quickly.  We manage this one quite well. 
  • Unsatisfied:  I spent the first month utterly baffled by her cries.  She was fed, dry, rested.  I didn’t realize she was particular about how things need to go.
  • Unpredictable:  Yesterday she slept for 2 hours in the swing I borrowed from a friend.  Woo-hoo!  Has it happened again?  Nope.  So far, there has been only one tried and true soother and that is the wrap.  Well, and the bathtub but we can’t spend the whole day there.  And while I can’t imagine life without the wrap, it does limit what I can get accomplished.  My back is killing me by the end of the day.  Right now, I’m sitting on a birth ball bouncing while she sleeps snuggled to me.
  •  Super-Sensitive:  “acute awareness of environment” and “like walking on eggshells.”  Yep.
  • “Can’t Put Baby Down:”  I think I’ve mentioned that a time or two.
  • Not a Self-Soother:  No way, no how.  If that were the case, she would not scream the ENTIRE trip to the grocery store.  I’ve become almost a hermit because I hate the carseat crying.  If ”cry-it-out” worked on high needs babies, she would have stopped crying in the carseat by now.   
  • Separation Sensitive:  This one is absolutely the most difficult.  Except for small 5 minute increments, she rarely permits anyone else to hold her.  Even Scott has to be careful about how he looks at her because of that pesky super-sensitive trait.  It is killing Scott because he isn’t able to soothe her or even bond with her much.  Remember he was a stay-at-home daddy with Norah at this age. 

I don’t want to sound negative.  And I don’t want to dramatize my experience.  Maybe if I parented differently, I would have a different baby.  I don’t know.  I’m fortunate that I am able to stay home with her and that my wonderful husband, family, and friends have helped so much with Norah.  And since Scott was himself a stay-at-home dad with Norah, he understands when we have a messy house or the same easy dinner over and over again. 

I hope that the highest needs of this high need wee one has peaked in the so-called fourth trimester.  She will be 12 weeks on Sunday.  Will we turn a corner?  Of course we will.  Of course.  Right?  More on my thoughts on the fourth trimester later.

Ideas for Busy Toddlers

A reader recently asked if I would do a post about Norah’s activities.  It can be challenging to come up with ideas to keep an energetic toddler engaged and active at home.  Especially when you are busy with an infant!  Some days are better than others.  I certainly resort to popping in a movie sometimes so don’t think I’ve got all this mastered!

Craft Shelf:  I have a shelf in the hall closet that is dedicated to crafts.  There are shoebox sized containers holding strings for necklaces, paints, glitter, glue, homemade play dough, popsicle sticks, floral foam, etc.  I also keep several old sheets and blankets to cover the floor for quick clean-up.  I keep activities simple.  Lately we’ve been enjoying leaf rubbings.  Norah also loves to thread uncooked ziti noodles on string.  And she loves to cut things with plastic knifes.  So sometimes I give her a knife with a few fruits/veggies and bread/cheese.  She’s also enjoyed building structures with (just a few) large marshmallows and uncooked spaghetti noodles.  I’m not very crafty so I often just throw down some supplies and see what she creates. 

IMG_8955The Dollhouse:  Our best investment (and gifts from grandmas) has been the dollhouse and accessories.  I’m watching her play with it now.  We chose Plan Toys  dollhouse and accessories.  Norah spends the bulk of her time playing here. 

Pretend Play:  I keep a mason jar and a clear plastic egg carton filled with assorted objects.  Buttons, leather pieces, marbles, shells, acorns, etc.  I’m amazed at some of the ways she plays with these.  And she loves to sort them.  We also have a bin of dress-up clothes. 

Dinosaurs:  A hand-me-down from cousin Taylor, the dinosaur collection is another big item in our home. 

Green Hour:  Although I’ve slacked off some since Cedar was born, we typically have a green hour every day (rain or shine) during which Norah explores the outdoors.  She can make bug houses from leaves and sticks, make “dinner,” or simply make a mess.  She especially loves green hour when it is raining because she gets to carry an umbrella.

Tips:

We have a small house.  I use lots of baskets to keep things sorted properly.  If toys are strewn about, then the “Toy Fairy’s” phone number is programmed in my cell phone.  Or at least that is what Norah believes.  I’ve never had to call the Toy Fairy but according to some moms, she will come pick up the toys and take them away if she is called.  There is an equally effective “Clothes Fairy.”    

I’ve noticed that it takes some time for Norah to begin playing with things that I introduce.  It probably took 6 months for her to even notice her dollhouse. 

I find dress-up clothes at thrift stores.

For toys that she loses interest in quickly, I put away and reintroduce later.  When she’s bored with it, I put it away once again.

For the most part, I turn my head when she decides to use household objects as play items.  I’ve lost almost all of my kitchen towels to her play baskets.  She loves to sneak away with belts, shoes, tape measures, cookie cutters, etc.  If I need something, I usually know where to find it.

Finally, we’re pretty careful about toy volume.  I generally try to avoid plastics and I like to know that toys are not made in sweatshops.  We keep an amazon wishlist so extended family know what we think would fit in our home and in Norah’s days.  If it requires batteries, it usually stays at grandma’s house. 

What toys do your toddlers and preschoolers love?  What works for your family?

Last Blessingway of the Year

Please come out this Saturday (Oct. 24) at 2pm for our final Blessingway of the year.  We meet in the community room at Earth Fare on Pelham Rd at 2pm.  This month, our guest is Marian Jones, who will demonstrate Oriental infant massage.  We will feature two positive birth stories:  Ellen’s homebirth and Ruthie’s Greer Memorial birth.  Blessingways are a great place to meet other “birthy folk.”  We love to have a balance of veteran parents and new parents-to-be. 

The event is free and open to the public.  Children are always welcome!  We are an informal bunch.  Blessingways are not “sponsored” by anyone.  Carey and I offer them as a way to promote normal birth and mindful information.

Googly Eyes

placentateddy

The things I googled today–

  • postpartum hair loss
  • “the language of the brag”
  • placenta teddy bears (because people have totally lost their minds)
  • postpartum hair loss prevention
  • acorn squash recipes
  • drops like stars
  • Great Lake Swimmers

Highlights of the day–

  • Celebrating with Natalie at her blessingway
  • Getting to eat a piece of cake by Makesha
  • Visiting with friends
  • Lunch with my parents
  • Eating crusty bread with butter.  Loads of butter
  • Having a sweet, sleeping baby tied to me
  • Driving 10 miles without Cedar crying (she likes B93.7 so I cranked it)

Lowpoints of the day–

  • Cedar screaming as I sat down to lunch with my parents
  • Crying as I unsuccessfully try to calm Cedar
  • Being jealous of everyone who doesn’t have a baby tied to them
  • Thoughts of simply driving away toward the mountains as Scott drove home with the girls
  • Listening to B93.7

Birth Rule # 1

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The most important thing is do not disturb the birthing woman!
Dr. Michel Odent – Obstetrician

 

The more births I attend, the more I realise how much we disturb the birthing woman.
Gloria Lemay – Midwife

 

 

I’m sorry it is a picture of me.  Sadly, my own birth is the only one I’ve attended that felt truly undisturbed.  Hospital births are never undisturbed.  “Can you sign these 15 consent forms?  Oh, are you having a contraction?  Let me hold the clipboard for you then while you sign here, here, and initial here.”  Some homebirths are undisturbed; I just haven’t been honored to witness one.    

The doula’s role is to guard the woman’s birth space.  To hold the line.  To remind caregivers not to talk loudly.  To shut the door when the nurse leaves it open.  To turn off the lights for the 12th time.  To trust the woman’s body and her intuition.  To give the birthing couple space to be private.  To give the partner room to love on the birthing woman. 

The most important thing is do not disturb the birthing woman!    

 IMG_8633Jude, the doula dog, was an inspiration during my undisturbed birth.

My Many Colored Days

Babywearing while eating = check

Dropping cereal on baby’s head = check

Eating cereal that was dropped on baby’s head = check

Babywearing while loading the dishwasher = check

Close baby’s dangling feet in the dishwasher door = check

Babywearing while pumping = check

Babywearing while going to the bathroom = check

Babywearing while sweeping, making bread, doing laundry = check

Babywearing while blogging = check

Change a diaper = check

Nurse the baby = check

Smile at the baby in the bouncy seat for 10 minutes = check

Babywearing begins again = check

What have been your more memorable babywearing moments?

Coddletime Bottles

My family was surprised when I decided to use glass baby bottles.  Sure, they know I’m down on plastic, BPA, and all that jazz.  But glass?  Didn’t I remember what happened to every single glass given from my wedding registry?  Didn’t I remember:  “Julie, um, you have slippery fingers.” 

So, today (and I’m surprised it has not happened earlier) I dropped a glass bottle from the kitchen counter to the ceramic tile floor.  And…

It didn’t break!  Ha ha!  Hoorah for Coddletime bottles and their snazzy silicone sleeve.   

Here are the specs:

Made of borosilicate glass, the same kind of glass used in laboratories due to its superior strength, durability and ability to resist thermal shock, making it extra safe for your little one. Borosilicate glass is also much lighter than traditional glass that is used for baby bottles.

10-7662-01Features:

  • Extremely resistant to high heat and breakage
  • Lightest glass baby bottle on the market
  • Anti-colic
  • Soft, wide and stretchy nipples mimic breastfeeding action, preventing nipple confusion
  • The semi-transparent food grade silicone bottle wrap protects from scratches and allows for easy viewing of contents inside
  • Non-toxic, BPA, lead, PVC and Phthalate free
  • Microwave and dishwasher safe
  • Winner of iParenting’s 2009 Best Product and 2009 Hottest Product awards
  • World’s first borosilicate glass feeding bottle
  • Packaging is made with eco-friendly materials

 

And they didn’t pay me to say all that.  I didn’t even get a free bottle out of the deal. 

Meanwhile, I hate using the bottle and check the mail daily for my SNS.  But I continue to pump and persuade comfort nursing as much as possible.

The Continuing Milk Saga

IMG_c5251 copyWe are at the two month point.  And we’ve hit another blip on the BFAR journey.  First let me catch up.  We realized pretty quickly that I again did not have a full supply.  I wasn’t terribly surprised though I had been really hopeful this time.  By week four, I’d tweaked things enough to guess that I was making about a 2/3 supply.  Not bad.  Of course I still went through an angry grieving period.  My wonderful husband, mother, sister, friends, and strangers on the street listened to me process my feelings.   

Thankfully.  THANKFULLY!  We’ve been able to supplement entirely with donor breastmilk!  Amazing generosity.

I’m still taking a ridiculous number of herbs and the domperidone.

So what is the problem?  My smart girl is noticing that a bottle will follow a feeding.  Her nursing time is ever-so-slightly decreasing.  Her bottle intake is increasing.  And since she won’t comfort nurse except at night, I feel my supply is in danger. 

Two solutions.  1)  I’m going to begin pumping tomorrow.  2)  I’ve ordered an SNS to begin feeding her at the breast when we’re home.  The SNS will make her work harder than the bottle does and it will stimulate my breasts to (hopefully) maintain/increase supply. 

It isn’t easy.  Low supply stinks.  But it is worth it.  For both of us.

 

Different as night and day

IMG_8924Night:  Cedar is a dream when it comes to nighttime parenting.  She nurses to sleep around 10pm.  Then she wakes at 3am and nurses lying beside me.  She wakes again at 6am for more food.  And I believe her deepest sleep happens between 6:30am and 9:30am.  She does not have crying fits at night.  She only grumbles a bit for food when she wakes. 

Day:  There are Crying Fits.  She will not nap lying down.  So I wear her in the wrap which wears me out!  My body hurts after wearing a baby for most of the day.  I’ve tried to stealthily lie down and carefully untie the wrap in bed.  She wakes in a Crying Fit.  Our day goes like this:

Eat

10 minutes of smiley time in the bouncy seat

Crying Fit

Wrap while walking/bouncing for 15 minutes

Sleep in wrap for 2-3 hours

10 minutes of smiley time

Diaper change

Crying Fit

Eat

Repeat.

The WORST part is that she hates the carseat.  So I don’t want to go anywhere because my sweet baby will be screaming in the backseat.  And no, she will not take a paci.  So far.  We’re 30 minutes from everywhere.  Any tips for carseat peace?  I’ve tried white noise and rolling the windows down and different music styles.  I even tried Rush Limbaugh.  But then I was screaming.

I look forward to nights.

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