Comments on: The Perils of Praise http://inexplicableways.com/2009/11/04/the-perils-of-praise/ Humbly building the universe Fri, 23 Jul 2010 18:12:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Inexplicable Ways http://inexplicableways.com/2009/11/04/the-perils-of-praise/#comment-3195 Inexplicable Ways Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:59:19 +0000 http://inexplicableways.com/?p=1367#comment-3195 Ahhh yes! I bet when he is in the thick of it, you'll be parenting the same way. I spent that first freebie year (when we re-directed more than disciplined) praying and subversively indoctrinating Scott with my beliefs. Bwaahaahaaaa. Meanwhile, my child asked me for a spanking this morning. ?? I don't think she knows what a spanking is. Ahhh yes! I bet when he is in the thick of it, you’ll be parenting the same way. I spent that first freebie year (when we re-directed more than disciplined) praying and subversively indoctrinating Scott with my beliefs. Bwaahaahaaaa.

Meanwhile, my child asked me for a spanking this morning. ?? I don’t think she knows what a spanking is.

]]> By: Katy http://inexplicableways.com/2009/11/04/the-perils-of-praise/#comment-3193 Katy Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:40:55 +0000 http://inexplicableways.com/?p=1367#comment-3193 I think John's instincts and actions are gentler than his thoughts and words, if that makes sense. He "thinks" that parenting requires certain (harsh) things, but he doesn't actually display those tendencies (but Jack is young). I'm going to look into the DVD. I suggested he read the book with me, but he doesn't seem interested. He said he's got plenty of time. :) A DVD might be easier. Thanks. I think John’s instincts and actions are gentler than his thoughts and words, if that makes sense. He “thinks” that parenting requires certain (harsh) things, but he doesn’t actually display those tendencies (but Jack is young). I’m going to look into the DVD. I suggested he read the book with me, but he doesn’t seem interested. He said he’s got plenty of time. :) A DVD might be easier. Thanks.

]]> By: Inexplicable Ways http://inexplicableways.com/2009/11/04/the-perils-of-praise/#comment-3192 Inexplicable Ways Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:05:13 +0000 http://inexplicableways.com/?p=1367#comment-3192 When I started to learn about gentle parenting and positive discipline, I longed for a hidden camera from which I could sneak-peak into a mom-practitioner's home. I needed to see what it looked like in real life. I think I learned the most from online forums and from hanging out with moms who had older kids they gentle-parented. (Thanks Kawani!) As far as my husband. We did not agree on parenting until we were in the thick of it. And then, Scott seemed to intuitively parent the way my books said. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was reading them on the sly. I'd like to think I was just "that good" of a gentle mommy that he caught on. But that wasn't it either. It really comes easily to him. I think it is easy to have ideas of physical punishment because that is all many of us remember of being parented. But I think most parents would happily put that plan on the back-burner if they see a gentle alternative that works. I wonder how the Alfie Kohn DVD is? It might be a good flick to watch together? When I started to learn about gentle parenting and positive discipline, I longed for a hidden camera from which I could sneak-peak into a mom-practitioner’s home. I needed to see what it looked like in real life. I think I learned the most from online forums and from hanging out with moms who had older kids they gentle-parented. (Thanks Kawani!)

As far as my husband. We did not agree on parenting until we were in the thick of it. And then, Scott seemed to intuitively parent the way my books said. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was reading them on the sly. I’d like to think I was just “that good” of a gentle mommy that he caught on. But that wasn’t it either. It really comes easily to him.

I think it is easy to have ideas of physical punishment because that is all many of us remember of being parented. But I think most parents would happily put that plan on the back-burner if they see a gentle alternative that works.

I wonder how the Alfie Kohn DVD is? It might be a good flick to watch together?

]]> By: Katy B. http://inexplicableways.com/2009/11/04/the-perils-of-praise/#comment-3191 Katy B. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:32:52 +0000 http://inexplicableways.com/?p=1367#comment-3191 I've been reading that book for a few weeks. Did you feel like you needed to be "reparented"? I love the concept but fear I have a long way to go before my instincts start to shift from positive/negative reinforcement to the appropriate responses. I also fear the husband will never be able to get past threats of physical punishment. He got "whipped" as a kid. I don't think he remembers that fondly, but "spare the rod, spoil the child" is entrenched. I have a big job ahead of me. I’ve been reading that book for a few weeks. Did you feel like you needed to be “reparented”? I love the concept but fear I have a long way to go before my instincts start to shift from positive/negative reinforcement to the appropriate responses. I also fear the husband will never be able to get past threats of physical punishment. He got “whipped” as a kid. I don’t think he remembers that fondly, but “spare the rod, spoil the child” is entrenched. I have a big job ahead of me.

]]>