a song of mary
somewhere it being yesterday.
i a maiden in my mother’s house.
the animals silent outside.
is morning.
princes sitting on thrones in the east
studying the incomprehensible heavens.
joseph carving a table somewhere
in another place.
i watching my mother.
i smiling an ordinary smile
–Lucille Clifton
I keep flashing back to this one moment after Cedar was born. It was afternoon the next day. I’m in bed wrapped in a sarong. Scott is in the kitchen cooking something yummy for me and Carey just brought me some Mother’s Milk Tea.
My dear friends are here. Abby is one on side of the bed. Carey is at the foot. Cassandra is giving me an acupuncture treatment. My Aunt Helen is meeting Cedar for the first time in another room. Norah rushes in, sees the needles in her mommy and worries we’ll put them in her.
We laugh and chat while the needles do their thing. I, of course, do something clutzy. I run my fingers through my hair forgetting there is a needle in my scalp and pull it right out.
I don’t know why this moment stays with me so vividly. The sense of community, perhaps? A gift that motherhood has given me beyond my children is this new community of women.
A rich icing on the cake.
Here is an excellent article from Academic OB/GYN on why delayed cord clamping should be the standard of care.
First, I’m sending birthy vibes to two of my students who will have easy, comfortable homebirths any day now. What a pleasure it was to share Hypnobabies with these beautiful ladies and their husbands!
In Hypnobabies, we discuss how to use a birth ball to help birthing become shorter and easier for moms and babies. It helps babies get in better alignment in the pelvis, and allows our Hypno-Moms to relax deeply in an upright position.
Here is an article on why to use a Birth Ball and how to pick one out.
For our Hypno-Moms, we have a bit of advice for practicing their hypnosis and relaxation on their Birth Ball in their third trimester to help them get used to relaxing deeply on it. The more practice there is before labor, the easier it is to use the Birth Ball during birthing.
Get a birth ball! This is simply an exercise ball that can be purchased from any store with an exercise department or online. Practice forward leaning positions on your birth ball, and also doing relaxation and scripts or Hypnobabies CDs. This will allow you to become familiar with using it and becoming comfortable on it, long before your Birthing Time. Birth balls have made such a positive difference for many birthing women.
Listening to Your Hypnobabies CDs on a Birth Ball. At least once each week listen to one of your hypnosis CDs while sitting on your birth ball so that the first time you use your birth ball while in you are in deep hypnosis isn’t during your Birthing Time. Make sure your birth ball is the right size for you. (When you are sitting on your birth ball, your shins and thighs should be at right angles to one another, thighs parallel to the floor.)
A bonus to practicing with your hypnosis while sitting on your birth ball is that babies are happy and wiggle around a LOT while their moms are in hypnosis. In the semi-squatting, forward-leaning position you’ll be in while sitting on your ball, you’ll be encouraging your happy, wiggling hypno-baby to settle into the perfect position for birthing: head down, facing your back, with chin to chest.
Tips for getting comfortable and fully supported on your birth ball:
Then lean forward onto your stack of pillows and put one cheek on the pillow. You should be upright enough so that it is still comfortable to breathe, and your back doesn’t feel strained; if not, use an additional pillow. You can let your arms dangle at your sides, or drape them over your thighs if you like, or you can slip your hands and forearms far enough in between the middle pillows in your stack if you think they’ll stay there when you are deeply in hypnosis.
Then just relax and enjoy your Hypnobabies CD.
Check out this nice PDF that has Birth Ball Use information and pictures for labor, including different positions you can choose to help your birthing progress and comfort level.
The birth ball can also be a comfortable perch for your wonderful birth partner!
From midwife, Pamela Hines-Powell. Note: this is a BIRTH slideshow so it contains images of birth.
While my breasts don’t twitter, I know some of you have been following their functionality with interest. And some of you (ahem, Brian, Finch) prefer not to know about my bodily functions! Sorry guys–feel free to stop reading at this point.
Breastfeeding after reduction surgery is unpredictable. Supply can increase with each child; or may not. While I had hoped to build a full supply of milk, I did not.
Cedar: Still getting breastmilk for all her meals. I’ve been so blessed by milk donation. She nurses off and on through the night and I do not have to give a supplemental bottle from about 8pm-10am. During the day, it is challenging to get her to nurse. She prefers to nurse with both of us lying down; which makes nursing in public difficult. Ok, impossible. It is infuriating because I’m all about women’s right to nurse in public and I want to promote our visibility. Not to be. At least right now. And I will admit that I’m a tad embarrassed to feed her with a bottle in public so I often do that in the car. Cedar’s other frustrating quirk is that she won’t comfort nurse. Boo.
Me: I have weaned off some of the herbs and helps. Currently, I’m on the maximum GRAS amount of fenugreek. So, yeah, still smelling like maple syrup. I decreased my dosage of domperidone. I’m on 90mg/day. I drink at least one strong cup of mother’s milk tea with caraway/fennel/goat’s rue/nettle/oatstraw/milk thistle every day. And I take an alfalfa supplement. Emotionally, I’m still processing the experience and my disappointment. I need lots of reassurance that I did everything possible. My friends have been super positive about my processing.
I had one major meltdown last week when I’d planned an afternoon in Greer for playing with friends and running some errands. I managed to spill all of Cedar’s donor milk. My options were to buy formula or go home. I went home. And I was spluttery mad that my breasts wouldn’t make enough milk. Irrational regret and beating-up-of-self.
Still, breasts are so amazing. Did you know that your breasts can regulate the different temperature needs of twins? One breast will heat up for one twin and the other will cool down if needed. It is called Breast Biosynchrony. How incredible! Men don’t have such cool super-powers.
Challenged to find a toy that is not “made in china?” Or ridiculously priced? Or plastic? Or requiring batteries?
Want to support a local craftswoman?
Check out Ashley’s amazing handmade Waldorf toys. Ashley is trained in Waldorf Early Childhood Education and is a parent educator. Click here for more info on Waldorf education . She makes her beautiful toys in Traveler’s Rest but, of course, can ship anywhere.
She says: Inspired by the limitless imaginations of young children, each toy is created with much love and warmth. Toys are purposely without detailed facial features to promote open-ended play and feed the infinite expressions of the child’s imagination. The beauty of the craftsmanship and simplicity of each toy beckons to be played with in a myriad of creative environments for years to come. Appropriate for ages birth through 7 years (and beyond!). My own children, ages 1 and 2, are my research and development team! I craft each of these toys from my home. The all natural materials I use include: hardwoods; wool – roving, batting, felt and yarn; cotton; bamboo; and found materials like acorn caps. Please allow 1-2 weeks for most custom orders.
I know I’m purchasing several pieces for Norah’s stocking. Take a look and if you’d like to see pictures of all of Ashley’s work or if you would like to purchase a few, email her at waldorfmama [at] gmail [dot] com.
Gnomes – (measuring approximately 4″ tall) in custom tailored outfits; gnomes are warm and wonderful to touch, all outfits are securely attached, and make great imaginative play toys as child grows – $4 each; 3 for $10; 6 for $20
Flower children and acorn fellows – each meticulously created and inspired by the changing seasons. A wonderful addition to sprout on a nature table and into imaginary play. Acorn folks are $4 each; a family of 3 – 2 adults and 1 child – for $10. Flower folks $6 each. (not recommended for children who will put them in their mouth)
Birthday/Dress Up crowns – a delight for the birthday celebration or for dress up; sized for young children to adults with adjustable velcro. – $15 each
Birthday Ring – inspired by rings from Germany, contains 12 hand tailored figures on a beeswax sealed wood base; customarily, child chooses one each year to stand in the center and the spot on the ring is filled with a candle; at 12 years old the ring is fully alight with all figures in the middle. Not recommended for everyday play. – $85, set includes 12 figures, wood base.
Knot dolls – a lovely first toy for the young child; knots are easily grasped and soothing to gnaw on; made from soft cotton fabric &/or organic bamboo fabric with wool batting in head (choose solid blue or pink) – $10
Balls of all sorts – felted (both wet and needle felted) wool with custom designs (small 2″ diameter $6, medium 3″ diameter $9, large 4″ diameter $12), embroidered cotton with a small rattle enveloped inside (4″ diameter $7); wool felt patchwork ($10); great for indoor play as first a rattle then an interactive toy
Carved wood animals – each hand carved, sanded smooth and finished with food grade beeswax; lovely as a first toy (safe for teething) then an addition to imaginary play as child grows older – prices start at $7.
Knitted animals – Soft and soothing to the touch (wool and cotton yarns), they can accompany many lovely tales children never tire of hearing (consider a mama duck and her babies with Jemimah Puddle Duck, bunnies to accompany any of the many fun rabbit tales, or a donkey, cat, dog and rooster set to illustrate the Bremen Town Musicians…) – Mama Duck $10, ducklings $4 each or a set of Mama and 2 babies for $15; rabbit $8; horse/donkey $10; rooster or chicken $4; cat $5; dog $10; elephant $15
Felt animals – pictured are two Scotty dogs; more designs to come in the future – $8 for solid $15 for appliqued
Mobiles – each individually crafted from pecan branches with wool and silk decorations – custom order, sizes and prices vary
Washcloths – knit or crocheted with organic cotton and quite lovely for the entire family – $7
Gift sets – multiple items may be selected to create a fun gift set; great for baby showers and birthdays! – prices vary
Aren’t they gorgeous?
Inexplicable Ways 