Inexplicable Ways

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  • Upcoming Childbirth Classes

    Hypnobabies class beginning February in Greenville. Six Tuesday nights from 6pm-9pm. Registration is open. Email for details j_byers(at)bellsouth(dot)net.

    Hypnobabies class beginning mid-March in Greer. Six Thursday nights from 6pm-9pm. Email for details j_byers(at)bellsouth(dot)net.

    Childbirth Crash Course: Dec 3 at 9:30am in Greenville. Email me for details.

    Parenting Series: Breastfeeding, postpartum, baby care, and more. Six classes to choose from or come to all. http://inexplicableways.com/2011/10/28/new-classes/

    Positive discipline for toddlers workshop: Dec 10 in Greenville at 10am. Email me.

    If you don't see a class to meet your schedule, you can contact me for a private class or get together some pregnant friends for a group class.
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Archive for the ‘Birth’ Category

Icing on the cake

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on July 1, 2011

I got an email from Dr. Polo Shirt. It was too beautiful not to share. Why don’t we have more Dr. Polo Shirts? He gets it.

“I had a really neat delivery this AM of a really sweet couple. Mom’s 3rd baby and was laboring on her side. (I have delivered all of her babies.) When it came time to push, she stayed on her side. Baby was OP [occiput posterior--facing toward the ceiling], so it took some work for her to push it out. Dad was sitting on a chair next to bed on the side mom was facing doing very supportive, support person stuff. I was sitting on the bed, behind the mother. Because of mom’s position, as the baby was coming into view the father was as close to her perineum as I was, so he got to see his child’s birth in detail, rather than peak from up above. The really cool thing was that since the baby was OP, as it was born, it had its eyes wide open and was looking right at his father, so his father was the first person he saw instead of me. Then this baby took a big breath and began audibly crying while the head was still the only part delivered. I do not remember ever seeing that before.

It felt so right to me, because with me behind mom and dad being so close and involved, I felt like I was not even integral to this delivery, It was just something that this family was doing together. Then the icing on the cake was that instantaneous eye to eye contact between father and son as the head emerged. I so wish I had it on video.”

Most of the time, birth doesn’t need any help. A good care provider knows when to step away and let it happen. Let the couple experience their amazing moment. 

Let’s not rush in to save the day when it doesn’t need saving.

Posted in Birth | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

Students becoming educators

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on June 17, 2011

Lately my childbirth students have been teaching medical professionals all about birthing positions.

1)  A first time mama was her OB’s first natural birth.  Seriously, first natural birth EVER witnessed.  And my student gave birth standing up!  Providing her own counter-pressure while her husband sat on the bed and held her from behind.  She gave birth to an 8lb+ baby without any tearing.  She said she felt her OB and nurse believed her to be a giant liability disaster waiting to happen! 

The next day, her OB had lots of questions about the birth.  The OB was surprised the woman did not “blow out her vagina.”  OB:  I’ve always supported the use of epidurals so I can control pushing and you don’t blow out your vagina.  But you didn’t seem to have a problem.  Mom:  I had instant feedback from my body about how fast/slow to push.  

2)  This mom was a VBAC who never got to active labor during her induction with her first baby.  And she wasn’t ”allowed” to get out of bed.  This time, she stayed at home and birthed 17 minutes after arriving at the hospital.  She chose a hands/knees position.  There was no doctor on the floor so three nurses assisted.  The one catching had never done a hands/knees births.  I could pick up on some anxiety about the position but mom did all the work.  She made it easy for the nurses.  And thankfully, they were supportive of her choice–not that I think she would have willingly changed positions at that point!  The nurse passed the baby straight to mama where she snuggled skin-to-skin for over an hour. 

3)  A resident had only done back births.  Her words:  “I see that you’re pushing well on your knees.  But what I like to do for natural births is break down the bottom of the bed, scootch you down and have you pull your legs back.”  I wanted to ask, ”Um, how is that different from medicated births?”  Mom was tricked onto her back “so we can check you.”  But she rolled to her side.  And instinctively gave herself her own counter-pressure.  This clearly made the resident uncomfortable but the mom ignored the nurse’s attempts to move her hand.  I heard the attending whisper to the resident “the manuevers are the same for a side birth as a back birth.”  When the resident gave me some instruction I can’t remember now, I replied, “Oh, ok.  I haven’t done a back birth in a long time.  The last birth I attended the mom was standing up.”  Wide-eyed resident shook her head in disapproval.  Sigh.  I hope that one moves on to a hospital far far away. 

I’m so proud of my students and other families who are changing the way birth is “managed” in the hospital.  It can be a tricky place to navigate and the balance of power can be overwhelming.  I think of my client who had a breech baby.  While she knew cesarean was her only option in the hospital, she also insisted on delayed cord clamping and skin-to-skin contact.  She made a path that other women can more easily trek. 

These amazing families inform and change one birth at a time.

Posted in Birth | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Shameful Neglect

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on May 24, 2011

I know I’ve been absent from my blog.  Bear with me, dear readers! 

I’m focusing on the new Upstate BirthNetwork website which I hope to launch this weekend.   More news to come.  In the meantime, if you’d like to get the scoop on UBN, you can visit our facebook page or come to this weekend’s Blessingway.

What else has been going on?

Oh yes, I helped a mama have her baby!  Ho hum, I’m a doula…that is what I do.  But no!  It was a fast-moving baby and there was no one to help except her husband and me.  And she gave birth standing up.  Wearing her Nike’s. 

I’d like to nominate her as a new Nike spokeswoman!

Other than that, it has been a quiet week.

Posted in Birth, Doula | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Sacred Moments

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on April 24, 2011

It was the middle of the day.  There were four of us.  A woman, her husband, their doula, and a baby ready to be born.  The light was muted by curtains.  She had carefully created this birthing room in her home.

It was an ordinary weekday.  The neighborhood went about its business.  The postman delivered the mail.  In the distance, someone cut the grass.  The school bus picked up and dropped off children.

But inside the birthing room, something transcendent was happening. 

Inside the birthing room, there was silence.  For an hour, complete silence as the woman worked with her waves.  The only sound was water.  Each time a wave began, I slowly poured water from a pitcher down her back.  And in the background, water flowed from a fountain she had placed in the room.

I didn’t dare speak.  The space was heavy with the sacred. 

This is what the Lord says—he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and will help you:  Do not be afraid…

for I will pour out water on the thirsty land…

I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring and my blessing on your descendants. 

They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.

(Isaiah 44:2-4)

Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—a place near your altar. 

(Psalm 84:3)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is what the Lord says—he who created you…he who formed you…

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you by name; you are mine. 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you…

Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.” 

(Isaiah 43:1-4)

I glimpse the sacred at all births I attend.  I feel near to the altar.  Like a priestess serving the woman; but ultimately the Author of this new life.  It is a meeting of worlds–the spiritual and physical.  Soon after, the midwife and her apprentice arrived.  The baby was born.  And the world carried on, though forever changed by a new life.

As birth servants, may we ever tread carefully in these birthing rooms.  These altars.

Posted in Beauty, Birth, Prayer | Tagged: , | 6 Comments »

Jenny’s Hypnobabies Birth

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on April 22, 2011

Look, look at these amazing pictures from Jenny’s birth.

Vibrant, alive, active, fresh, pure, intentional.  These are the words I think when I look at this birth scene.  And full of love, family, smiles, gentleness.   

I hope she’ll give me permission to add her birth story to my collection.  (No pressure Jenny)

Posted in Birth, Hypnobabies | 1 Comment »

Locals: busy Saturday!

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on April 21, 2011

We have two exciting events this Saturday and I know I’ll see many of you there.

First, the Great Cloth Diaper Change.  The cloth diaper community is trying for a Guinness World Record: the most diapers changes simultaneously.  And, of course, the event will raise awareness about sustainability for Earth Day.

Natural Baby is a host location for Greenville.  Please take a bit of time out of your Saturday to join us–your friendly neighborhood changing station!  Even if you don’t cloth diaper, you can join in.  Just check the appropriate box on the registration and a cloth diaper will be provided. 

Go here to register and print your eticket.  The event begins at noon but arrive 30 minutes early please. 

After you’ve changed your baby’s diaper, go for a walk and have some lunch.  Then come back at 2pm for our April Blessingway.  April is Cesarean Awareness Month.  We’ll hear Erin’s Greer Hospital VBAC story and Angie’s planned cesarean story.  Our local ICAN leader, Jenn Anderson, will talk about steps to achieve a VBAC in the upstate.  Of course, little ones are always welcome! 

See you there!

Posted in Birth, Green Living | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Heard in L&D

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on April 8, 2011

“Pitocin is natural.  It is the same thing that is in your body to make the baby come out.  It even helps your milk come in!  All my babies have pitocin.”

Yes, spoken by an OB.  I think she even threw in a “girl,” or two into the conversation.  As in, “Girl, you’ve done the natural thing long enough.  Get the epidural!  I did!”

This same friendly OB also ruptured membranes without consent or warning.  Usually I am able to intercept a move like that so mom can give consent first, but I completely missed this one.  It happened so quickly.

When the mom did get an epidural (at 8cm, AROM) after “bad cop” OB suggested it could be another “five hours of excruciating torture,” pitocin was automatically administered and cranked.  The mom was progressing normally.  But ”good cop” OB wanted to get home.  I heard her say this.  So Pit was cranked.  Not a gradual increase.  And I watched baby’s heartrate which had been varying in the 130′s-150′s immediately begin dipping to the 100′s during the fast-peaking pit contractions. 

But the pit worked quickly and soon a precious babe joined the world.

I’m thankful mom had a beautiful baby with few complications.  I wish the OBs had been more supportive, encouraging, and patient.  I wish there had been more informed consent.  The mom is happy which is the most important thing and lets me know I did my job.  It is her birth; not mine. 

What can expectant moms take from this?  Talk to the doulas in your community.  Even if you don’t plan to hire one.  Doulas know the inside scoop.  We witness what happens in L&D.  All OBs/midwives are not the same!  I show pictures.  Pictures of different styles in the birth room.  A picture speaks a thousand words.  Does the doctor wear what looks like a radiation suit; so covered you can’t even recognize her?  Does he hand the baby to the nurse instead of the mom?  My observations are just one part of the story but they are things I have witnessed.  Honestly, how else is a family to know what birth looks like in different environments, with different care providers?  I know one mom who wanted to switch to a more natural-birth friendly hospital but one doctor was booked for her date and the other group has a policy about taking patients after a certain date.  I was really saddened that she was unable to birth at the hospital she wanted. 

So, meet with a doula.  Early in pregnancy.  When there is time to interview other providers.

Posted in Birth, Doula | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

Blazing Trails

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on April 1, 2011

Recently, my repeat client had a repeat breech.  I blogged once before about this amazing woman.

As you know, in the US, it is impossible challenging to find an OB willing to manage a vaginal breech birth.  Heading into a repeat cesarean, this mama did her research and opened a dialogue with her OB about her choices.

I’m delighted to report that Dr. Cowart with Greer OB supported her choice to wait 1 minute before clamping the cord and to have baby placed skin-to-skin.  She enjoyed skin-to-skin contact for over an hour after her baby’s birth. 

I hesitate in posting this because I’m afraid Greer OB will be overrun with families who want choices in their births!  Soon, they might become like Dr. Polo Shirt who is so busy he’s turning expectant families away. 

Thank you to this mama who maybe blazed a trail for other women to have this conversation!  And congratulations on your beautiful baby!

Posted in Birth | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Guest Post from a new Hypno-Doula

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on March 30, 2011

Kristin Abboud took my Hypno-Doula training in January.  I asked her to blog her first Hypnobabies birth experience.  Her clients were first time parents who took my class.  Kristin teaches Bradley birth classes and is available for doula clients.  Hire her.   

I was fully planning on studying up on hypnosis and Hypnobabies to be certified as a Hynobabies doula 2 weeks prior to the due date of a couple I would be attending in labor, so when the dad called me 3 weeks before their due date I was nervous.

All I have ever known about hypnosis is that you get called out of a crowd to go up on stage and make a fool out of yourself doing crazy things.  How in the world was that going to translate to labor?  I soon found out.

I knew the basics.  Hypno-tools like the light-switch, cue word, and special safe place.  I had learned that hypnosis can be powerful.  I learned that a lot of the time, as a hypnobabies doula, you don’t really do much.  I was skeptical.

I went to their home and all was calm…too calm.  Went for a walk.  Came back and mom laid down to rest and listen to a hypnosis script while I crocheted.  About 20 minutes later dad came in and tells me mom is crying, pressure waves are intense and they want to go to the hospital.  

Transferring slows everything down, but dad is assertive about communicating with the nurse their wishes and what hypnosis is all about – quiet.   Only positive communication can be used around a momma in hypnosis.  She internalizes everything and that will be what she feels and perceives.

I have to say that I was antsy to get things moving.  She didn’t seem to be making progress visibly.  She listened to scripts through ear phones and barely made a peep.  Once in a while she would say “peace” or make a little moan. It was during scripts that the most work seemed to be getting done.   Vaginal exams were refused.  I wanted to DO something.  Shouldn’t we be walking, swaying, massaging, praising, encouraging, timing?  Shouldn’t she be breathing harder, moaning, groaning, snapping, needing?

Time, time was what was needed.  There were hints and clues here and there that things were progressing.  I couldn’t tell when a pressure wave began or subsided so timing was no use.  When she was on the monitor we caught a glimpse of her waves.  They would rise half way and hold on for 2 minutes or longer.  I watched her when they would start, peak and end.  Her hypnosis was so well practiced and trusted, she hardly flinched at the pressure.

Patience was of the utmost importance.  Dad seemed to overflow with it.  He trusted as well.  I, on the other hand, was getting worried that she was too relaxed and this was never going to happen.  Again, I kept thinking about all the things we could be doing and trying.  I texted my wise friend and Hypnobabies instructor for advice.  She said there wasn’t anything better to do than the hypnosis stuff, and to think of it as “supporting her brain rather than her body”.

There it was again, patience.  Patience is not my forte. I can feign it pretty well though! ;)

She slid into pushing without much fuss, although I could tell she didn’t want to give in to it.  I would love to attend more Hypnobabies trained moms to see what pushing is like for them because again, not much seemed to be happening. Dad and I decided to put the pushing script on which is to be played out loud.  2-3 nurses and the doctor were there to hear it.  Mom had maybe 2 pressure waves during the 20 minute script.  When it ended, it was like a complete turn-around.  Mom got down to business and her baby emerged in no time.  And just like that mom flipped a switch and was fully present and eating up every delicious feature of her sweet baby girl.

I’m sold. Hypnosis for labor works.

Posted in Birth, Doula, Hypnobabies | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

Choosing for YOU

Posted by Inexplicable Ways on March 25, 2011

My amazing Hypnobabies students, Jenni and Brandon, were featured on the official Hypnobabies blog yesterday.  I love this story so much. 

I talk to so many women who choose to birth in a way counter to their intuition because of someone else’s desires.  They say things like “Well, my husband doesn’t want…” or “My insurance doesn’t cover…” or “Since this is my first baby…maybe the next one…”

Jenni is the only mom I’ve ever encountered who had the birth SHE wanted even after making a plan for the birth OTHERS wanted. 

Moms, please listen to your inner mama voice.  If this is your first pregnancy, you may not have heard this voice before.  Recognize it.  Your intuition is powerful in pregnancy.  You are wise.  Listen carefully.  Explore every inclination.  And in the end…birth where/how/with whom you feel safest and most loved.

Drop the excuses that are stopping you from having the birth of your dreams.

By the way, THIS is what Jenni looked like after her dream birth.  A blissed out mama!

Posted in Birth, Hypnobabies, Pregnancy | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

 
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