You’ve seen the Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling sites.
My husband created his own comeback. Hey Guy, Jennifer Connelly.
Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category
Hey Guy
Posted by Inexplicable Ways on February 4, 2012
Posted in Marriage | Tagged: hey girl, jennifer connelly, ryan gosling | Leave a Comment »
My love
Posted by Inexplicable Ways on May 13, 2011
It isn’t his birthday. Or our anniversay. Or father’s day.
It doesn’t need to be.
This is my husband.
I’ve loved him for 17 years. Yes, that long.
I still fancy him. Quite a bit. We stay up late talking. And even though he doesn’t love how birth affects our family, he listens to me talk about birth story after birth story and serving families. He hears me rant about hospitals and OBs. He offers insights and keeps me grounded when I panic worry. He can talk ruptured membranes/intermittant monitoring/mucus plug/nipple stimulation with the best of them because he knows it is important to me. He’ll make a flyer for my events or pick out the perfect doula gear.
He has this look. Oh this look that he gives me when the day has been particularly challenging and the girls have wrecked the house. The look says “we’re going to make it and we’re going to do it together.” And I can take another deep breath as he grabs a guitar to sing with the girls or puts on Mr. Roboto for a dance session.
When I make a mistake (which is often), he is so easy. So quick to forgive. So quick to move on. So quick to laugh. He’s slowly teaching me to fight with him instead of sulk. I’m a slow learner.
He likes to pick out my clothes and take me shopping. I would be much dorkier if I didn’t have him in my closet. He is way cooler than I am. Sometimes when I am completely lost under a pile of rejected clothes, he’ll drop everything to be my fashion advisor. He also explains jokes and slang to me.
He’s handy. A fixer of things–both tangible and intangible. Norah once said, “Daddies fix things. Mommies don’t fix things. Well, they fix dinner.” I’ve since educated her on that point. However, her daddy is a first-rate fixer.
Finally, and this one is tough to swallow, I think he might be better at this parenting gig than me.
So, in honor of no special occasion, I want to say thanks to my love.
Posted in Marriage | 10 Comments »
The final extremity, or a history of marriage with this man.
Posted by Inexplicable Ways on May 25, 2010
Arm # 1: (injury location–Tallulah Gorge)
We’d only been married a few months when my husband showed up at our door cradling a sublexed shoulder. Covered in dirt with leaves in his hair. I don’t remember the details. I’m sure it was a great story. He had injured it while running the infamous Tallulah Gorge. After bravely telling his kayak party to “go ahead without me, I’ll be fine,” he climbed out of the gorge carrying his boat and painfully made his way home. The next day, we welcomed Dr. Baumgarten into the family.
Leg # 1: (injury location–Middle-of-Nowhere, NY)
Famous last words, “just one more tree.” Scott and I had taken 10 teenagers deep into the woods to work on a project. We were building a prayer glade meant for seclusion and beauty. We had transported all the kids to this spot via a tractor-pulled hay cart. The manly men of our party–two college students and Scott–were “clearing the view” (i.e. chainsawing all the poor trees in their path) on a ridiculously steep incline. The injury was, well, let’s just say it was gruesome. A very bumpy hay-ride, ambulance transport, and a terrible introduction to NY public hospitals = icing on the cake.
Yes, that is my hubs in the middle. The one brandishing the chainsaw. And yes, the pic to the left was taken just before the drama. The Prayer Rim project turned out nicely, though. We can truly say it was built with blood, sweat, and tears. The tears were mine (and Josh Finch’s).
Leg # 2: (injury location–icy trail, NC)
A slip on ice while hiking results in a broken leg–not the clean break kind, of course; the spiral break kind. The kind that requires surgeries and pins. Mr. if-its-gonna-happen-it-will-happen-in-the-middle-of-nowhere had to hike out of the wilderness by pulling himself along the ground. Even crossing a river. Why hello, again, Dr. Baumgarten. Really, it has been too long.
Arm # 2 (injury location–Ocoee River, TN)
Kayak + big rock = broken face and another sublexed shoulder. He’s scheduled for surgery tomorrow. Should I bring cookies for our friend, Dr. B?
Posted in Marriage | Tagged: baumgarten, kayak, piedmont orthopedic associates | 4 Comments »
Feeling Lovey-dovey
Posted by Inexplicable Ways on April 1, 2009
I’m feeling very grateful for my delicious husband. I’m ever amazed at how he pours himself into our family and how he consistently puts our needs first. He has sacrificed many things so that I can be at home with our daughter.
I still can’t believe that a 16 year old cheerleader somehow meshed with the edgy deadhead in chemistry class oh so many years ago. One day I’ll share the story of how I tricked him into our first date.
He always has been and always will be way cooler than I’ll ever be.
Posted in Family, Marriage | 2 Comments »
On Women and Infidelity
Posted by Inexplicable Ways on October 18, 2008
I have some thoughts.
And maybe a theory. Though even as I type it, I sound presumptuous.
I think it would be hard to have an affair if you have excellent girlfriends.
Gulp.
I’m basing my theory on personal experience alone. See, I have excellent girlfriends. They sweep me off my feet with surprise and romance. We routinely get carried away. In a completely heterosexual way, of course.
Now my sister is my best friend but she’s family. And I expect family to support me, be there for me, etc. She has to listen to me and come when I need her. Ah, but friends–they could leave me (oh dreadful day) or let me down (never).
They choose.
How does this prevent infidelity? My girlfriends meet needs for intimacy that my husband cannot/does not meet. I absolutely could not expect Scott to meet all my intimacy needs. How exhausting. My husband is extraordinary–he listens over and over again as I process tricky scenarios or have a meltdown at the end of a rough day. But I’ve learned he doesn’t love listening to me recite poetry. And while he listens a few times to the same story–you know women work out our feelings by hashing the same story several times–really, two times is his limit.
My days are filled with beautiful friends. Most memorable moments lately:
- apple picking
- pie-baking day
- sitting in a car sharing secrets while the babes sleep
- a full day of eating yummy foods thrown together at the last minute in the midst of uncontrolled chaos
- making vegetable soup
- sharing a bottle of wine with one who had a rough day
- dreaming over the phone with the most amazing massage therapist on earth
- discovering this sign posted above my head only after Norah spilled her juice and ran amuk at coffee underground:
There is something utterly breathtaking about strong mommy-friends. The shared vulnerabilities (that none of us really know what the heck we’re doing or if we’re ruining our children for life), the forgiving nature of playdates (that naps must come first–mine or the child’s–and that I may be wearing the same clothes I did the day before), and the help, oh the help (like the time Carey role-played niceness so Norah would get the hang of um, not yelling at me).
What more could I need?
Posted in Friends, Marriage | Tagged: friendship, infidelity, Marriage | 3 Comments »
10 Years Ago
Posted by Inexplicable Ways on June 6, 2008
Right about now (11am) ten years ago, Scott kissed the bride.
Some things haven’t changed much: Scott got a kayak paddle salute as we left the church. And since I was obsessing about equality, the lovely church ladies put “Congrats Scott and Julie” on one side of the church sign and “Congrats Julie and Scott” on the other side.
Some things have changed: The beloved jeep that carried us away from the church is gone. Many faces in our wedding pictures have scattered to other places–some as far away as China. Our flower girl is much taller than I am now. Scott’s hair is several inches shorter. And I would never fit in that dress!
Ah, that fateful night a baffled, irritated, slightly put-out teenage boy got tricked into a date…who would have imagined the chain of events to follow?
Posted in Marriage | Tagged: anniversary | 7 Comments »
The Economics of a Marriage
Posted by Inexplicable Ways on March 30, 2008
An unexpected gift celebrating no occasion.
Results in an apple pie baked with all my love.
And I thought of your face that sweeps over me like light, like the sun on the apple making a lovely show. So one seeing it marveled the other night, turned to me saying, “What is it in your heart? You glow.” –Not guessing that on my face he saw the singular reflection of your grace like fire on snow–and loved you there. –May Sarton
Posted in Family, Food, Marriage, Poetry | Tagged: apple pie, May Sarton, prana | 5 Comments »
