Natural Baby Parenting Series:  I’m excited to teach this series again for Natural Baby.  Beginning January 25, six Wednesdays of classes for new or expectant parents.  Couples/Individuals may register for individual classes or the entire series.  20.00/couple/class or 80.00 for the entire series (must be paid in advance).  6pm-7:30pm.  Here is the schedule:

January 25: “Try to See It My Way: How Babies Communicate” (newborn behavior, birth bonding, attachment theory, soothing skills, and finding balance)

February 1: “Breastfeeding” (initiation, physiology, common issues, finding help, returning to work)

February 8: “Now What? The First Six Weeks” (care for mom and baby, baby basics, postpartum concerns, creating a lying-in, jaundice, circumcision, and vaccine choices)

February 15: “Sleeping Like a Baby” (the normal course of infant sleep, nighttime parenting, circadian rhythm, and naps)

February 22: “Having a Baby without Breaking the Bank” (creating a smart baby registry, DIY tips, cloth diapers, going green can be budget friendly, what is safe to buy second-hand, top toxic products you don’t need)

February 29: “Parenting the First Year” (solid-feeding, safety, teething, discipline, learning through play, development) 

Register by emailing j_byers@bellsouth.net or rsvp’ing on Natural Baby’s facebook page under the events tab.

Preparing for a Smooth Hospital Birth (2009)

Doulas and Cesarean Birth (2011)

Dads and Doulas (2010)

Sacred Moments (2011)

I Heart My Perineum (2010)

A Word or Two about Homebirth (2009)

Accepting Your Birth Environment (2009)

Why I Wish Doulas Didn’t Exist (2008)

I had an epic birth to end the year.  40+ hours unmedicated and unaugmented with 5 hours of pushing!  Births like those affect everyone in attendance.  Watching a woman of determination and faith.  Witnessing her power.  Oh, it was incredible.  I hope she’ll permit me to blog a bit more about it. 

I’m prepping to spend almost three weeks in Thailand and Cambodia.  Skulking around “travel with children” forums.  It seems there are two attitudes regarding flying with children.  1)  Don’t.  Children are demon spawn and belong in the cargo hold.  or 2)  “I’ve never had a problem with my children because they (and I) am perfect.”  When kids misbehave, it is clearly the parent’s fault. 

There are also strong, judgemental opinions on medicating children for flights.  So, will I be medicating my fiery 2-year old who freaks out when riding an elevator?  Well, I won’t be sharing it here!  Too many strong opinions on that one! 

I’m teaching two classes this week.  Tomorrow (Tuesday) is “Sleeping Like a Baby” and this weekend is “Positive Discipline for Toddlers and Preschoolers.”  While I’m an educator for the first class, I’m a facilitator for the second.  In other words, I would not presume to teach discipline.  Ha!  I’m simply facilitate learning for that one!  See the difference?

Norah’s birthday is this weekend.  She doesn’t like change so that makes it easy.  We simply replicate what we do every year.  Small, family gathering.  Scott will leave a scavenger hunt for her while he is at work.  I’m tentatively adding a few changes.  Norah does not approve of a hot chocolate bar but I’m doing it anyway. 

I put together a “Breastfeeding Support Basket” for an online auction.  My friend, Rachel, is adopting.  Go bid!  The auction closes Dec. 9!

Scott is spending his spare hours playing Santa in his workshop.  I love the smell of wood shavings. 

Special thanks to Travis Wood, a young starving artist, who told me I needed to add background contrast.  I didn’t go as dramatic as he suggested (he showed me some wild charcoal idea).  Still I’m branching out.

Description:

The first six weeks can feel like a whirlwind of emotions and the learning curve may seem steep. Learn what to expect during the postpartum. For mom, we’ll discuss physical changes, healing from birth, and creating a postpartum plan. For baby, we’ll look at common issues such as jaundice and gastric changes. And we’ll learn about baby care basics, newborn procedures at the hospital, and vaccine choices.

20.00 per student/couple the night of the class. Please RSVP so I know how many will be attending.

This class is appropriate for parents-to-be or new parents. Babies are welcome in class.

And it is not too late to RSVP for tonight’s Breastfeeding Class.

10) I was the first to arrive at a homebirth.  When I walked in, I noticed all the signs of labor:  childbirth books open on the floor, half-eaten dinner on the table, hypnosis script playing, tub full of water.  But I did not find signs of the couple.  I searched every room in the house.  Looked in the backyard and garage.  Called out, “hellooooo?”  Where were they?  Ambulance transport?  I called the midwife who was on her way and said, “What is going on??”  She was as shocked as I was.  Then the dad pokes his head down the stairs and waves.  I hang up with the midwife and rush upstairs.  And still couldn’t find them!!  Looked in all the rooms again.  Turns out I was standing three feet away (twice!) but didn’t see them in a tiny space around a corner.  P.S. she had her baby an hour after I walked in the house.

I’m sure I’m not the only doula who has felt this way. I know I’ve gotten calls and texts from new doulas on their way to a birth. So let’s talk about it.

You Can’t Script It: When we walk into a birth space, there is no way to predict what we might be doing over the next hours. I have found myself in the strangest positions. I’ve twisted my body into odd shapes, slept in weird chairs, dirty danced with a laboring woman, gotten in the shower fully clothed, and stood on a hospital bed. I’ve said words that I never could have rehearsed and followed rituals that I never could have created. This inability to prepare used to drive me nuts. Now I roll with it. Things that may help:

• Wear clothes that are comfortable no matter your position. No one wants a doula worrying about her butt crack or bra strap. So do some yoga in your clothes first and see if they pass the test.
• Have a well-organized and well-stocked bag. I rarely use anything in my bag. But I have less anxiety when I know I have it.
• Eat, drink, and pee. Basic, I know. But I’ve failed to do those things at births and gotten foggy/grumpy/dizzy. Since you can’t predict how long you’ll be there, eat at regular intervals. I tell my clients in advance that I will make sure everyone is fed and that includes me.

It Is Not A Performance: I think this one is so difficult. We are hired help. Clients have expectations of us. We want to do a good job. But performance suggests that we are on stage. We’re not. We are not! It does not matter what the midwife, doctor, nurse, or mother-in-law thinks about us. Our role is to hold the space for the mom, provide support to her and her partner, and keep them center stage. At the end of the birth, the mom should say, “I did it!” I really don’t want her to say, “I couldn’t have done it without you.” Things that may help:

• Meditate on service. I have a few rituals on my drive to a birth. I pray. And specifically, I pray that I will be a servant. I pray that my ego will be put aside. That I won’t try to impress anyone. I also listen to birth affirmations. These help me focus.
• Release the outcome and the path to it. The doula does not get to make decisions. Nope. Not our role. My perfect birth is just that. Mine. Not my client’s.

There Is No Instruction Manual: Sure we have doula trainings, books, and seminars. They can teach techniques. I remember one of my early births (I’d never even met the mom before), the midwife literally took my hands and showed me how to massage the mom’s legs. Another time a doula took my hands and showed me where to press for counterpressure. Oh, how I worried I would do it all wrong. Then I realized that it really is intuitive. I’m always telling the laboring woman to trust her instincts. I had to learn to trust my own. Things that may help:

• Have someone you can call or text when you have no idea what to do. It is always helpful to talk it through with another birth professional when you’re stuck. I think there may even be a small book called The Pocket Doula that might be helpful. Don’t read it in front of the client, though!
• Be confident. Channel it. No one wants skittish hands or a questioning voice when she’s birthing. It doesn’t matter if you feel confident. Fake it. Stay cool, calm, collected. Grounded.
• Try not to overthink it. It isn’t rocket science. Birth is a pretty simple and straight-forward bodily process. It uses some of the same muscle movements as digestion. Most births would work just fine if no one was around. So maybe you don’t need to DO anything. Or SAY anything. Maybe you should just knit in the corner.

Remember that adrenaline does not often serve you well in a birthing environment. Go outside and do some jumping jacks to get rid of it if you must. Breathe deeply. Take some motherwort tincture. Stretch.

You were chosen to attend this birth and this family. There is nothing to fear.

Natural Baby Parenting Series:  I’m excited to teach this series for Natural Baby.  Beginning Nov. 15, six Tuesdays of classes for new or expectant parents.  Couples/Individuals may register for individual classes or the entire series.  20.00/couple/class or 80.00 for the entire series (must be paid in advance).  6pm-7:30pm.  Here is the schedule:

Nov. 15: “Try to See It My Way: How Babies Communicate” (newborn behavior, birth bonding, attachment theory, soothing skills, and finding balance)

Nov. 22: “Breastfeeding” (initiation, physiology, common issues, finding help, returning to work)

Nov. 29: “Now What? The First Six Weeks” (care for mom and baby, baby basics, postpartum concerns, creating a lying-in, jaundice, circumcision, and vaccine choices)

Dec. 6: “Sleeping Like a Baby” (the normal course of infant sleep, nighttime parenting, circadian rhythm, and naps)

Dec. 13: “Having a Baby without Breaking the Bank” (creating a smart baby registry, DIY tips, cloth diapers, going green can be budget friendly, what is safe to buy second-hand, top toxic products you don’t need)

Dec. 20: “Parenting the First Year” (solid-feeding, safety, teething, discipline, learning through play, development)

Register by emailing j_byers@bellsouth.net or rsvp’ing on Natural Baby’s facebook page as events post.

A conversation with my five year old:

Norah:  Mom, have you ever heard of a king who did whatever his people wanted him to do?

Me:  No, I don’t think so.

Norah:  I’m pretty sure they exist.

Me (homeschool mom trying to insert a lesson in government):  What if you had some yummy lemonade and I wanted your lemonade.  What would the king do then?  How would he decide who would get the lemonade?

Norah (without hesitation):  He would make more lemonade!