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I was honored to witness this birth. The words that came out of this mom’s mouth during transition were “yes, thank-you, peace, love.” It was beautiful to watch. Here, she shares her story and offers excellent tips for expectant families. I love her “in case I ask for an epidural” plan. I also appreciate how she describes the Hypnobabies Special Safe Place tool. –Julie

“Child,” said the Voice, “I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own.”

The Chronicles of Narnia, The Horse and His Boy

When you get pregnant, people assume you want to hear their birth stories. And I suppose that you do want to hear them, until they get to the part about 30 hours of labor, 15 stitches or how they were cursing out their husband to get the drugs. Personally, I could have done without hearing some birth stories I was told. I guess people just want you to hear what you may be “up against.” I am thankful to have grown up with a mother who likes to remind me that she gave birth four times naturally. And I guess hearing that enough somewhere down the line had an effect on me. I think at some point long ago, I began really believing that God made my body capable of giving birth without intervention. I believe birth is natural and though it may hurt, the reward is worth doing it all over again and again. Having those beliefs engrained in me was vital, and it’s never too late for others to start believing the same thing.

So here, I want people to read my story and see that while giving birth is natural, at the same time, you don’t have to do yoga, be a member of La Leche League or have your baby in a pool in your living room in order for it to be considered natural. (And just as a side note, all of those things are great…I may even try a couple, but they aren’t crucial when it comes to giving birth naturally.) A woman who desires to give birth naturally can do so in a hospital and have a wonderful experience, provided she is prepared and surrounded by a caring support team of people who fully understand her desires for her birth.

And I am blessed to have been one of those women…

My birthing time began somewhat uneventfully. There was no gush of water that soaked my pants in the mall and sent people into hysterics like in the movies. Actually, it was just some leaking, and at the time, I didn’t know what it was exactly. So of course, I googled it. I read about tears in the amniotic sac that can heal themselves, how some women leak cervical fluid and how fastidious hygiene can keep you safe from infection and from going to the hospital where you may be admitted. And after reading way too much and spending entirely too much time concerned about it, my doula put my fears to rest. She wasn’t worried, which meant I didn’t need to be. And that’s kind of how it is with her. I was trying to describe her to someone the other day, and I think I put it best when I said, “She’s like the definition of peace embodied in a person.” Talking to her, you realize she knows what she’s talking about because you also realize that if she didn’t know, she’d be the first to tell you. I could go on and on about her, but having her with me is another story that I can tell another time.

Fluid continued to leak out of me for a couple of days. It was Thursday when it started, four days before I had predicted having her. Yes, I had my own date separate from that of the doctor’s “due” date. My guess date was May 28^th, Memorial Day. For months and months I had been telling myself that was when Emma Jean was going to come. I didn’t really have a reason for that date, I just felt like she would come at the end of May and Memorial Day seemed like a good day to be born on…especially if you’re a future Olympian. 🙂

Anyway, it was early Sunday morning (12:00am) when I started to feel some pains in my lower abdomen. I wasn’t really sure what they were, but I felt like something was getting started. I tried to sleep and told myself rest is important, but there was no use. At 1:00am I was writing down my pressure waves (contractions), how long they were lasting and how often they were coming. By 2:00am I woke up my husband and told him to come to another room with me. I told him he could lie down and sleep but that I just wanted him near me because I thought I might be beginning my birthing time (labor). I don’t think he really thought it was happening, and I can’t blame him because how can you really tell? How was I supposed to be sure? So during the next couple of hours I was moving around, sitting on my birthing ball, pacing, swaying, talking to myself (“Relax, breathe, pray” and “Peace”) and just kind of staying within myself. Charlie was making sure I drank water, reading me Psalms and getting in touch with our doula.

Here’s the part where everyone wants to know, “Ok, seriously, how bad did it hurt?” And much to people’s dismay, it’s really hard for me to describe. I think because I was using hypnosis, my entire birthing time was dream-like. People who read this will probably think, you mean, nightmarish? And no, I mean dream-like. I mean that my thinking brain had shut down and because I had a place to go to, a place I had visualized many times, a state I had practiced being in, I went there and I decided I would stay there until all of this was over. So the pains were not in the forefront of my mind. I felt them, I expected them but they didn’t consume me. I was able to relax into them instead of running away from them and it made all of the difference. I will say the most vivid pains I remember during this time happened when I tried to lie down. My husband suggested I try to rest since I’d been up for several hours, and although this would have been a good thing for me, every time I stopped moving and tried to lie down, it took me out of my zone and the pain was much more present. So instead, I moved around, talked to myself and listened for 4 or 5 hours. I think I listened to my Easy Birthing Guide (from my Hypnobabies CD library) 6 or 7 times through. Charlie just put it on repeat, and I think hearing those birthing prompts, the positive reinforcement and just hearing it over and over, really helped me stay within myself, in the zone. I honestly don’t remember what was on the track at all but having that playing repeatedly gave me something to concentrate on, which in turn relaxed my body and comforted me. Needless to say, I pretty much paced, swayed, etc…my way through my birthing time until my doula said she thought it was time to head to the hospital.

And then came the ride to the hospital. Here, I can answer the pain question better. It was terrible. I had to sit upright with my knees touching the dash (we installed the car seat behind the passenger, not smart, put it in the middle) as we drove for 25 minutes to the hospital. I couldn’t move, all I could do was breathe and moan as we hit every single light on Wade Hampton. It was terrible. It was the most present and non-dreamlike state I was in during my entire birthing time, and it is the reason that next time, Lord willing, I won’t be getting in a car at all. But I told myself the whole ride this wouldn’t last forever and that we would make it there…and we did.

Upon arriving at the hospital, I remember walking from the car through the lobby, to the elevator and into labor and delivery. I took my time on that walk knowing that where I was going was a different environment than my home had been. My home had been dark, comfortable, relaxing and this place was bright, unfamiliar and different. So as I walked in and up, for about 5 minutes, I got my breathing, relaxation and everything else I had at home back on queue knowing that I needed to be in the same state in order for this to continue progressing. I trusted that my doula and my husband would take care of answering questions, filling out papers and finding our room. And that’s what they did, except for the filling out of papers. We miraculously avoided that altogether during this time; for whatever reason, the nursing staff felt like the papers could wait until later…turns out they can.

I walked into the room and got up on the bed, for those of you reading who know yoga moves, in a child’s pose. I will never know why I did that, I just trusted my body to know what it was supposed to do. And that’s just what happened. My butt was in the air, my face was resting on pillows and my arms were outstretched. Also, in the very far reaching corner of my mind, I prepared myself for getting an IV, something I knew was policy considering me being positive for Group B Strep. But God knew the desire of my heart and totally answered my prayer: no IV. For whatever reason, the nurse didn’t push the issue. The nurse checked me, I never heard the results [she was fully dilated] and not long after, the doctor checked me. He said and I will never forget it, “Norie, if you want to have this baby now, you can,” in a familiar non-chalant manner. In my head I kind of laughed to myself, ya, Dr. Stafford, I would! However, that didn’t necessarily mean I knew how to. But then my body once again took over and big pressure waves started coming. My doula said to me, “Norie, let your peace build with those waves and then when it can’t build anymore, breathe all your peace down.” And for whatever reason, that made complete sense to me. I visualized big waves building up, up, up, and when they couldn’t get any bigger, I visualized my peace coming on top of them and smashing them down. I know it sounds weird, it sounds weird to me now, but at the time, it made perfect sense. So as the waves built, I peace-ed my baby out. And I will say that during this stage, I was definitely more aware of pain in a sense. I remember as Emma Jean’s head was coming, feeling a burning sensation, different than anything up until this point. But at the same time, what is pain when you know that on the other side is life? I mean, yes, I felt pain but I knew that I was having a baby so it wasn’t something I cared about. All I cared about was breathing Emma Jean out and into this world where I could finally hold her in my arms. Somewhere during this stage my doula jumped up on the bed and grabbed both of my hands and as I breathed peace, I squeezed her and was able to let my peace go down further. Also, toward the very end, I remember feeling Emma Jean coming out and my doula leaned in and reminded me of my “aah-aah-aahs” that helped me slowly, gradually and not forcefully breathe Emma Jean out. I’m glad I let out those aahs because I feel like they were a part of the reason I didn’t tear. And as I let my peace crash down one more time, my body trembling, heart racing, brow sweating, I felt a huge release and Emma Jean emerged. I was overwhelmed. She was passed underneath me, so when I opened my eyes after the last push, there she was, my baby girl. I picked her up carefully, rolled over and held her close.

Charlie helped dab her off, and I can’t remember much else. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I didn’t want to. I do remember the doctor asking me for one more little push and there was my placenta, which I now realize why no one ever tells you about the afterbirth, because who really cares about that when you’re holding a new life?

And so there it is, my first birth story. I am so thankful to serve a God who allowed for me to have such a wonderful first birth covered in so much grace and mercy.

Here are a few things that I believe made a huge difference for my birth. I don’t think these are necessities for all women. However, I do believe in preparation and I believe God sees our preparation and may choose to honor it, so I think it’s best to be prepared:

1. Pray (from day one of finding out your pregnant all the way through your birthing time, there cannot be enough prayer)
2. Have a plan (I used Hypnobabies, but not because it was my first choice. In fact, I didn’t even know what is was really when we got into it, I just knew that I needed a way of going about birth whether that was Lamaze, the Bradley Method or whatever.)
3. Create a birth plan (this is something that you hand to your doctor weeks before your birthing time and something you definitely give the nurses at the hospital when you arrive. It’s just an outline of the things that you desire out of your birth, things that you do have a say in. Honestly, I think the birth plan helped me more than anyone just to be confident with the decisions that we were making.)
4. Be in as good of shape as you can be (when I found out I was pregnant, I was already in pretty good shape. And I made a commitment to try and stay in the best shape I could all the way until my birthing time. I definitely could have done a better job with this, especially during my last trimester, and I think that the longer you can stay active the more it will help you during birth. I don’t think that anyone is ever too far behind because walking is low impact but can strengthen your legs, which you will want to be strong. Also just doing squats and lunges can make a huge difference as well. And though I am not a good example of this, swimming is probably the best for you and baby, even if that just means getting a kickboard and kicking for 45 minutes. Not only will it strengthen your legs, improve cardio, it also helps baby get into a better position for your birthing time.)
5. Drink Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (I’m not normally a tea drinker, but a dear friend of mine gave me some of this tea and told me that it would help tone my uterus on top of a bunch of other great things. So I thought why not? And I pounded the stuff back for the few weeks before my guess date, and I just believe it helped me. If at the very least, it made me believe that I did have a toned uterus and could give birth naturally, and to me, that was worth it. But I believe that it actually did do the trick and postpartum has made a huge difference in cramping, etc…If you don’t mind the taste, why not? It can only help.)
6. Write Things Down (I wrote down a list of things that I wanted to do early in my birthing time, like take a walk, bake something, etc…of course I began my birthing time at 1am so many of those things I didn’t get to do but they were there in case I had been able to do them. I also wrote down a ton of Psalms on notecards for my husband to read to me during my birthing time. Writing them down beforehand was great because I felt comforted as I read each of them then and once more comforted when Charlie read them to me later. The other thing I wrote down were things I would say to myself in case I asked for an epidural. I knew I didn’t want an epidural, so I wrote down all the reasons why. Then I cut each one out and put it in an envelope entitled, “In case I ask for an epidural.” We never opened it, but it was there in case I had needed to be reminded of, “Norie, you can do this. You’ve wanted to do this your whole life. Billions of other women have already done it.” Or “God made your body able to do this, just trust in Him.” And so on and so forth. I think it was wise to have that envelope because even though I could say to myself, I’m not going to ask for drugs over and over beforehand, you never know what you are going to do in the moment. And I knew the only person who would be able to keep me from doing it, would be me, so I knew I had to write those out myself.)
7. Tour the Hospital (the day we were supposed to tour the hospital is the day we had Emma Jean. In our defense, we had tried to tour earlier that week but they were too busy for us. But I think that it could only have helped because it lets you know the environment you will be stepping into as you arrive from a very different environment [most likely your home]. It’s important to know where you are going in order for it to be a smooth transfer that does not alter where you are mentally.)
8. Do your kegels! Kegels are an exercise that work your pelvic floor muscles, also known as your Kegel muscles. The best part is, you can do them anywhere, anytime and no one will even know you are doing them. Just google Kegel exercises to find lots of information about them and how to do them.
9. Have a support system (For me, this consisted of my husband, my doula and a physician that I knew, 100%, understood my desires for birth and was going to do everything he could to make those happen. For others, they may choose family members or midwife. But whoever you choose to have with you during your birthing time, it’s essential that they understand your desires for your birthing time and are willing to do whatever it takes to make those come true.)
10. Visualize what you want: good things! (It is super easy for me to sit and think about how things can go wrong in any situation. For my birthing time, it wasn’t any different. If I let myself start worrying about having a c-section or Emma Jean turning the wrong way, all of the sudden I was visualizing it happening with crazy detail. So I really had to take time to practice visualizing good things happening. I visualized giving birth in different positions, I visualized breathing/relaxing into pain, and ultimately I visualized things going well. This visualization practice was part of Hypnobabies, but I will say that whether I had done Hypnobabies or not, I would have used visualization to reinforce having a wonderful birthing time. I’ve been an athlete my whole life and used visualization many times in order to practice being successful. And when I look at my birthing time from an athletic perspective, it just makes sense that I would practice positive visualization. After all, I would never practice visualizing striking out so why would I visualize something bad happening during my birthing time? I think it’s often easier for us to expect things to go badly, that way, we won’t be surprised or letdown if they do. But it’s like my doula said, “What if everything goes great? What if everything is wonderful?” So don’t dwell on the negative “What if(s)…” but instead choose to see your birthing time happen in a wonderful way even before it ever does!)

A long time ago, in a land far away…I was 22, and very pregnant.  I was 30wks and just miserable, tossing my cookies every other hour and dealing with an incredible amount of kidney pain. I had nephritis, which is the buildup of fluid surrounding the kidneys. This landed me in the hospital several times for IV fluids and pain meds. I think my OB was just as frustrated as I was and induced me at 36 wks.  Pitocin was started at 6am, epidural at 8am, and a 6lb baby boy was born at 11:20am via episiotomy and 3^rd degree tear. I nursed him, held him, and fell in love with him instantly. He was a beautiful gift and at that point, the way in which he entered the world was of no concern to me. About an hour after his birth, a nurse came in to tell me she was taking him for his first bath. I declined.  She told me that I had to give her the baby and she would bring him right back…after tears and prying him from my arms, away she went with my babe.  I would not hold him again for 5 days.

We asked multiple nurses to bring us our son, but no one seemed to know where he was or refused to tell us. Three hours later, after sending my husband on a search for our child, I learned that Tanner was placed in NICU for breathing difficulties. I will never forget the social worker walking into my room and handing me a polaroid photo of a naked baby sprawled out on a flat bed with tubes coming in and out of his body. This was not the baby I had given birth to…and I told her so! I demanded to see my baby, but they refused to allow me a “visit” until he was stabilized!

Late that night, I was finally wheeled into the NICU to see this baby, which they claimed was mine. I really could not believe it…how does a baby go from perfectly healthy to being so sick in such a short time? All we could do is cry as we listened to the nurses explain all of the POSSIBLE problems that he MIGHT have. I asked to hold him and was told that I couldn’t even touch him. Although I was young, and knew nothing of childbirth, I knew my baby needed me.  As soon as the nurse turned away, I put my finger in his tiny hand and whispered my love in his ear. Every time I touched him the monitor would show that his breathing rate would slow down.  At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but after ten minutes of steady breathing rates, I alerted the nurse. She scolded me for touching him and stated that it was just a short hiccup and would speed back up soon. She was correct, the minute I removed my hand from his body, the alarms went off and we were ushered outside. For five days we prayed, we pumped, and we hoped that this nightmare would end. Then one morning we came to “visit” and we found that he had been moved to newborn nursery. When we asked why he had been moved they explained that they couldn’t find anything wrong with him and promised that we could take him home after 3 days of observation and weight gain. We were so happy to be able to hold and nurse him that we didn’t complain. We brought him home 9 days after his birth. The trauma of the whole ordeal didn’t really hit me until I became pregnant again 13 months later.

Our second pregnancy was a bit of a surprise.  I was rather scared that this would be a repeat of my fist pregnancy and birth. So I made it clear that this baby would not leave my side…no matter what! I developed nephritis again and went into preterm labor at 27 weeks. I was 5cm and having steady waves. So they shot me full of drugs, tipped the hospital bed upside down, and told me to cross my legs! I was sent home on bed rest and held out untill 36 weeks. I was induced again, epidural, and the whole nine yards. But this birth was different, much fuzzier and hard to remember. Immediately after giving birth I was given the option of sterilization via a tubal. The OB had been working on me for several months…filling my mind with every terrible birth scenario she could muster. She told me that every future pregnancy would be more traumatic and every baby would come earlier. Prenatal appointments overflowed with her sympathetic phrases, “Baby girl, some women are just not cut out for this. Their bodies are just not meant for this. You’ll have two children and for that you can be thankful. We don’t want to put you at risk, your life is more important.” And those are just a few that I can recall! I can still hear her calling me “baby girl” as if I was a child and she the adult that knew what was best for me! Unfortunately, her psychological warfare tactics worked.  She convinced me that I just wasn’t good at being pregnant.

I agreed to the tubal while nursing my newborn son, placenta still attached. To be honest, the next thing I remember was seeing my husband feeding our son a bottle and being very angry! Dawson was such an easy baby, so sweet and cuddly. He made me want more babies and regret my decision almost immediately. I would live with the grief of my decision for many years.

God’s grace abounds, and what seemed like a terrible decision lead us to foster and adoption(a big long story for another time). We were blessed to be able to adopt our two lovely daughters and growing our family in a different way.  Adoption is a beautiful picture of God’s love and we are so thankful that we have these girls to love.

Fast forward 8 years…I am a midwife’s assistant and reading every midwifery and birthing book that I can get my hands on. Knowledge is powerful, and it begins to open my mind to the possibility of having another baby.  I consulted with my midwife about my previous pregnancies and she seemed to think that we could resolve the nephritis and constant “cookie tossing” with  good nutrition. This was a huge encouragement for me. After seeing so many beautiful home births, my heart ached to experience what these women did…to have a peaceful and gentle birth. I grieved over the loss of a birth that I didn’t even know was possible at the time.

My husband and I started to do some research into tubal reversals.   We found that many women all over the country are getting reversals.  The stats for success were high and the cost was affordable.  On March 22 2011, ten years after Dawson’s birth, I had the reversal. We became pregnant on June 7th, 2011!

I am convinced that the key to holistic treatment is prevention.  Thankfully, Elizabeth (my midwife), suggested I start a whole foods prenatal and milk thistle for nausea.  Taken in the months prior to pregnancy, milk thistle strengthens and increases healthy liver function which helps to control morning sickness.  Although I only had a month on the milk thistle, it actually worked to control my nausea. During my first two pregnancies, I “tossed the cookies” 5-6 times a day for nine months, with this pregnancy I only threw up a hand full of times. When the morning sickness started to get to me, I used my relaxation techniques, increased vitamin B and protein. I did resort to calling in a nausea RX, but found it to be of little help. By week 18 the nausea was better and at week 20 it was totally gone! Around the same time my kidneys began to become a problem.  I started taking stinging nettle, which repairs kidney damage and improves function among other things!(one of the best herbs for pregnancy) It did the trick and within a few days the kidney pain had subsided. After a month on stinging nettle I felt great. This was a huge success for me, I felt like my body was strong and knew what it was doing…very encouraging. I could be good at being pregnant!

Every prenatal without signs of pre-term labor or kidney pain was also an encouragement. I kept thinking, “I’m doing this and doing it well!” Around week 35, we had some cause for concern. I began to have consistent practice waves about 4 mins apart and needed to use my Hypnobabies for some of them. Elizabeth came over to check on me (all gussied up as it was date night with her hubby) and reassured me that they were simply practice waves. I was only 1cm and about 60% effaced, for which I was extremely happy. We both were a little concerned that I wouldn’t make it to 37 weeks, which is required for homebirth. So she told me to take it easy, gave me a shot of hard liquor, and put me to bed. My hubby was determined to help me make it to full term and kept insisting that I would. He would tell me to go listen to my “Baby Stay In” cd and remind me of our goals. This was so helpful; to have his support… it was priceless. The waves continued. Bed rest was not very restful for me, it made me feel defeated. I was very angry at my body for not cooperating and began to struggle with fear.  Hubby stepped in again to remind me of how strong my body was and that I was doing a great job. He was a total superhero, taking care of our four kiddos and waiting on me hand and foot. The ladies in our church rallied around us, bringing us meals and taking my kids for the day.

Around week 37 the waves became intense again. They felt very strong and seemed to be about 3 mins apart.  We called Elizabeth and she came over to check things out. I was 5cm and stretched to 7cm, 90% effaced, and 0 station. I was so tempted to have her strip my membranes or break my water…all of these waves were becoming annoying and I really wanted to see this baby! The waves spaced out and nothing happened.

Week 38, and yes we were counting! Waves would come and go throughout the nights and so would the phone calls to Elizabeth. I was frustrated; I am a doula, why can’t I figure this out? Why is my body teasing me this way! Elizabeth reminded me of what was best for baby and it was to wait this out. I held out until just two days before my guess date…then I pulled out the bag of tricks! If you would like to know what is in the bag of tricks, contact me via email! 😉

Finally, just one day before my guess date…I awoke to strong waves at 2am. I figured it was another tease, so I went back to bed, put on my “Come Out Baby” cd and fell asleep. At 5am I felt a POP and his head slam into my cervix. I leaped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. It was on! This was TRANSFORMATION…I yelled for hubby to call Elizabeth and fill the pool. Then I started making weird phone calls to friends and family. I even left a message on an answering machine while having a wave…I don’t recommend that! It felt as though time was standing still, everything was moving in slow motion.  Elizabeth came, set up and observed me.

WARNING: This is where my memory gets really sketchy!

I walked over to the birthing pool and my water gushed. I turned on my Hypnobabies and instantly felt better. The waves were so much easier with the cd! The pool wasn’t full at all, but the warmth of the water was sooo soothing and instantly the pressure felt as though it had changed. I remember using my cues, looking at my “special place” beach scene, and floating back and forth in the water. At some point things changed, and Elizabeth and the apprentices joined us in the room. I heard a cue, on the cd, about every 30 mins feeling like only 5mins and from then on things moved very quickly in my mind. I asked for counter pressure on my back and moved to the side of the pool so that hubby could support me.

Thousands of thoughts raced through my mind between waves. Little did I know that these thoughts were not staying in my head, I was saying them out loud! Crazy things came out of my mouth!

“Get that hose out of the pool, it looks like a snake!”

“I hate Ina May!”

“There is nothing orgasmic about this!”

“I think I might cuss, I’m sorry.”

“Lord be merciful to me.” (I thought I was praying this to myself!)

All the while I wasn’t feeling any pain, just intense pressure and an opening feeling that I really can’t describe. I could feel every move he made inside of me…I knew where he was and that he would be here soon.

Pushing began and my hubby supported me on the side of the tub. I remember pulling on the shoulders of his shirt for leverage.  The squatting position was great and I had no desire to move from it. I pushed his head down and felt a little ring of fire, but as soon as the wave left he moved back up. I told Elizabeth what had happened and she reassured me that everything was just fine. I pushed again, bringing his head out partially and held him there for quite some time…there seemed to be a pause in my pushing here. Elizabeth asked me if I would like to feel his head and I gave her a stern “NO!” Another couple pushes and his head slid out. I reached down and felt it and an instant connection happened. I felt this wave of love and compassion for this babe that had only made a partial entrance into my world. I said, “That wasn’t that bad!” Again there seemed to be another pause. I was so intoxicated by the experience that I wasn’t thinking about pushing out the rest of my little guy. Elizabeth seemed to bring me out of it when she said I would need to give it a couple big pushes for the shoulders. I felt another ring of fire and with the assistance of some stealth like moves from Elizabeth, out he came. His arm had been positioned across his chest and the umbilical cord was wrapped around several times. I turned around and cradled my new baby, somewhat in disbelief!

We did it!  It’s a boy! Silas was born just over 3hrs after my birthing time began! Our four children ran down stairs to see their new brother. They looked on with awe at the miracle that had just taken place in our home. The room was flooded with love and thankfulness. After recanting my hate for Ina May, I moved to our bed to get cleaned up and rest with Silas.

Silas was 9lbs 4 oz and 23 in long! I gave birth to one BIG baby without any interventions, meds, or pain!

Honestly, I have never felt anything so good in my entire life. Thanks to Hypnobabies for the tools and my wonderful midwife for her talented hands!

Karla Costner is a certified Hypno-Doula who serves women in the Upstate!  Visit her website to find out more:  www.brilliantbirth.wordpress.com