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The Break Up

My sister broke up with her OB this week.  She still hasn’t decided where she will birth but she knows it won’t be at the giant, high c-section rate baby factory–the only place her OB delivers. 

Her regular doctor wasn’t in so she saw another woman in the practice.  The break up went something like this:

Noelle:  I don’t want to deliver at __________.

Doc:  Oh, well, um that’s where we deliver.  Where were you thinking of going?

Noelle:  I’m considering a homebirth.

Doc (with a look of pity):  I don’t think you’ll find any midwives around here.

Noelle:  I know several midwives around here.

Doc:  Not licensed ones.

Noelle:  Yes, licensed ones.

Doc:  Well.  I think you should talk with Dr. _____ [your regular OB].  I’m sure she would be willing to let you try for a natural birth.

Dear reader, please let that settle, won’t you?  I’m sure she would be willing to let you try for a natural birth. 

Sigh.

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9 responses »

  1. Break-ups are no fun but so worth it!! I remember my break-up with Highlands over the ignorant nurse who told me I would miscarry if I continued to breastfeed during my pregnancy. When I disagreed, her response was, “Why don’t you discuss this with your a doctor. I’m sure they will agree but if you are determined, they may be willing to let you continue breastfeeding.” Strinkingly similar to the doctor who may allow Noel to try for a natural birth. Ignorance.

    On a side note, are you a Southern Saver, Julie B?

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  2. Although I’m not planning on delivering with my regular GYNs office I did go see them when I had some early bleeding. I ended up seeing a different Dr. than I normally use and he badgered me about why I had not come in sooner and why I did not plan on delivering with them. I nicely told him that I wanted a natural birth with a more hands off approach. He very hotly told me he had delivered four babies within the last week and all were natural. I just wanted to let the subject drop as nothing he could say would change my mind but he kept bringing it up. I had a feeling he was seeing dollar signs walk out the door. I also have a friend who has delivered with him and she was given an episiotomy (sp?) without warning. I have a feeling his idea of natural and mine are vastly different ideas.

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  3. Good for her! Wish I had had the wisdom to do that the first time around… would have saved me a lot of heartache! Best of luck to Noelle – sounds like she’s on the right track and, of course, having you around doesn’t hurt either 🙂

    Reply
  4. Oh wow, forgive my spelling on the previous post (of your sister’s name). Could it be the less than 4 hours of sleep last night? So sorry Noelle!

    Reply
  5. “Let you try for a natural birth.” Sounds kind of like trying to win a giant stuffed animal in one of those rigged games at a fair. And to me, in the hospital, with an OB and no doula, that’s what it felt like too.

    Congratulations to your sister though on dumping the OB! I’m sure having your support will make all the difference in the world to her birth–at home or not.

    Reply
  6. This is the same OB I broke up with when I was pregnant for the first time. My clue was when the Dr. asked “Will you be needing any special equipment for your natural birth.”

    She was also concerned that I was doing the Bradley Method. She thought it was a diet and was worried I wouldn’t gain enough weight!

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  7. The OB thought that the Bradley Method was a diet? Wow. I’m proud of your sister. I hope she finds someone that she can trust. One of my Hypnobabies student’s I’m worried about because her doctor is highly interventionist. I don’t think the students get yet why I like to home birth, hopefully they will have the beautiful birth that they desire. I just worry for them.

    Reply
  8. Willing to LET her? Wow, there’s some positive language.

    I have this fantasy (no, not like that)…that if I ever have another baby, I rent this fabulous RV and park it around the corner from GHS. Inside, I have my doula, my midwife, and my hubby. If there’s a problem, we are close enough that we can whisk the baby to the ER if necessary. If all goes well, we roll on.

    Reply
  9. Your sister is so lucky to have you as an influence. Good for her for making this choice! I’m often befuddled by women who want to go the mainstream, interventionist route the first time “just to see” how it goes before choosing something more empowered. Why waste a perfectly wonderful birth? 😛 The “let you” comments always make me feel a little, uh, stabby. To be frank. 😉

    Reply

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