Monthly Archives: December 2010

Thank You 2010 Families

From Mary-Grace, the first new baby of the year to the TWO sweet boys born today, I am incredibly honored to serve a tiny role in these births. 

  • To the couples who have invited me into their homes.
  • To the women who’ve met me at coffee shops to talk about their pregnancies. 
  • To the Hypnobabies dads who have fallen asleep (one even snored) while I read the scripts in class.
  • To the couples I’ve coached through contractions over the phone.
  • To the tiny new babies I’ve held as if they were the most precious treasure in the world.  Because they are.
  • To the clients who became friends.
  • To the friends who became clients.
  • To the women I’ve cried with.
  • To the first timers who dared to birth differently than everyone else around them. 
  • To the midwives, doulas, doctors, childbirth educators who have been listening ears, back-ups, and teachers.
  • To my husband who has texted me at births such questions as “how effaced is she?  did she do the rotisserie? and when will you be home?”
  • To the Anderson class who had to listen to the macarena playing outside the window while under hypnosis.  Wonder what the long-term consequences of that will be.
  • To Dr. Stafford who let me use his office (and his fancy technology) to teach classes and who consistently holds the space for alternatives and choice in the hospital birth experience.
  • To the women who have cared for my children when I leave.
  • To the VBACs who went to great lengths to avoid another cesarean.
  • To the nurses who sometimes broke the rules and who always remembered that patients have choices.  Even the choice to say “no.”
  • To my family who is tolerant when I find a way to talk about birth during every mealtime conversation.
  • To Cedar who cried every time I left and pretty much the whole time I was gone.
  • To the tearful postpartum mamas who called at 3am. 
  • To the babywearing groups and the women who shared their birth stories at Blessingways (pssst…I’m scheduling stories for 2011).
  • To the repeat clients who told me they were pregnant before they told anyone else. 
  • And to the births who have taught me so much about serving, honoring, protecting, and loving.

I love you and wish you grace and beauty in the coming year!

Wheel of Fortune

I had a Hypnobabies student birthing recently. 

She emailed me that “today was the day and that her pressure waves were getting easier instead of harder.”

Then later, an email that said she felt silly being at the hospital since labor was so comfortable and she was just watching “Wheel of Fortune.”  She was 5cm.

And the last email just a few hours later:  baby is here! 

Intact perineum, surprise posterior baby (!), and only 20 minutes of pushing.  Her words:  “smooth sailing.”   

And this is why I never have to advertise for my Hypnobabies classes…

Two Things to Do While Pregnant

Put these two items on your To-Do List.  You’re pregnant for 9 months.  You can fit it in.

1)  Learn about breastfeeding.  Yes it is natural.  Yes it is the biological norm for human feeding.  Yes we are mammals and thus defined by our mammary glands.  Here’s the problem:  we’ve become disconnected from this function.  We don’t witness it as part of normal life.  My sister told me of a young girl who had no idea how babies were fed without a bottle.  She even asked, “Do you drink the milk and then spit it in the baby’s mouth?  How cool!” 

And then you’re given this baby.  It is all you, mama.  And you are unfamiliar with the tangible signs that baby is “getting enough.”  And maybe you don’t know that her little stomach begins the size of a marble.  Did you know colostrum (the initial nourishment) is measured in tablespoons? 

Oh, and then you realize that it takes 15 hands to get the baby properly latched, held in place, arms out of the way, breasts compressed? 

I remember picking Norah up to nurse her in the middle of the night that first week postpartum.  I was so tired.  I tried to latch on her feet instead of her mouth.  And then Scott was asleep and dreaming he was nursing the baby while he held a tiny pillow to his chest.  Exhaustion.

Yes, it is natural.  No, it does not come naturally for many women.  So learn.  Take a class.  Don’t just read a book, buy it so you’ll have it to re-read at 3am.  Know where to go online for help.  My favorite resources are kellymom and Dr. Jack Newman.  And please stay away from books that try to put newborns on a schedule.  Every medical organization and breastfeeding organization says to feed baby on demand (when baby says it is time to eat). 

2)  Take an independent childbirth class.  Even if you’re planning to birth with an epidural.  Why?  Because sometimes you are not able to get an epidural (moving too quickly, no anesthesiologist available, low platelet count, etc).  And sometimes you get one and it doesn’t work.  A childbirth class will give you other tools in case your primary tool doesn’t work out.  You won’t panic.  You’ll have plan B.  Also, you probably won’t get an epidural before your first contraction.  Wouldn’t you like to have some ways to cope with those? 

A childbirth class will give you a realistic picture of birth.  Did you know that active labor for a first time mama is around 12 hours and that most labors do not begin with your water breaking?  You might decide to spend some time in the comfort of your home before rushing to the hospital.  A childbirth class will give you confidence to identify where you are in your labor and what to expect next.  It will give your birth partner confidence to support you.  It will show you options you didn’t know you had.   

Why independent?  Because the hospital class spends more time teaching you procedures, pain medication options, what to expect as a patient and less time on alternative pain coping options, stages of labors, etc.  Independent classes are usually longer and more in depth.

Don’t make excuses on this one!  If you cannot find a group class, take a private class in your home.  If you don’t have time, take a private class in your home around your schedule.  It is important. 

Things to consider when choosing a class. 

I don’t normally go authoritarian on expectant couples but I’ve heard one too many terrible birth story and sabotaged breastfeeding story this week.  Your birth experience matters because regardless of natural birth or medicated birth, knowing you are an active participant–making choices, getting informed consent–gives you confidence to do this difficult journey called parenting.  Birth is a small window in time but it is a giant door to becoming an informed and mindful parent.

Some Favorite Things

Norah’s new nature shelf.  We’ve had trouble with Norah’s nature table.  Trouble that starts with a capital “C” and comes in the shape of a 16 month old wild thing.  For Christmas, Scott made a shelf to go above Norah’s bed.  Out of reach (for now) of Cedar.  It has a shelf on top and a string with clothespins for attaching feathers, leaves, butterflies, etc.  Norah had so much fun arranging her fall/winter nature treasures.  And the dead Hercules beetle that we are apparently keeping forever.   

The Jesus Storybook Bible:  Every Story Whispers His Name.  Oh my.  I had heard mama friends speak with such passion about this book.  I knew it would be good.  But this good?  I’ve been so frustrated with the Bible storybooks for children.  The stories are disjointed.  God is sending floods, kicking people out of a garden, sending plagues.  A cohesive story and an amazing grace are missing.  I cried when I read the introduction!  “You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children–with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.  And though they would forget him, and run from him, deep in their hearts, God’s children would miss him always, and long for him–lost children yearning for their home.”

The plasma car.  There is such joy I never could have imagined in hearing your children play together.  Sorry Mom, if I’d known, maybe I wouldn’t have fought with Noelle so much.  The plasma car has given me hours of happy sibling play.  Thank you, Great-Nanny!  Too bad she doesn’t have a computer to read this. 

 

Our completed fireplace.  My husband was determined not only to make most of our Christmas gifts this year but also to complete our fireplace.  He built this thing of beauty from nothing.  It was an empty corner.  He built the mantle, installed the logs, carved the designs and centerpiece, cut the rock, stacked the rock, cursed at the rock, swore he’d never mess with rock again.  And he finished it Christmas Eve.  He is a machine.  Or a superhero.  Or maybe a robot superhero.

 

I’ll post more on some of the other gifts he made.  After we give them all out.  There are so many other favorite things I’m enjoying from sweet family and friends.  Mostly, I’m savoring time together while my whole family is living geographically in the same place–until March.  More on that later, too.

Anyone notice?

I added a new page.

I’ve been trying to remember all my blooper moments.  Email me if you remember something funny from your class or your birth.

Am I Nit-Picking?

I will get back to birthy posts soon, I promise.

Recently, Norah was participating in a food drive for United Christian Ministries.  Fantastic.  She helped pick out what foods we would donate each week.  We talked about need.  We talked about sharing. 

Then, I realized it was a contest within this group.  The group of kids who brought the most food would win a pizza party. 

A pizza party? 

See, I grew up with stuff like this.  Lots of rewards for good behavior, memorizing scripture, perfect attendance.  I kind of felt that way of thinking was behind us.  That we had a new understanding of social justice.  That the reward was in the doing and the giving.   

Somehow I cannot imagine Jesus, when he sent his disciples out, saying, “whosoever heals the most lepers will get first seating at the marriage supper of the lamb.” 

Actually he said they would be flogged and hated. 

Norah’s group didn’t win the party.  I’m relieved.  Because the people we were collecting cast-off, dusty cans of creamed corn probably don’t get many pizza parties. 

Am I a scrooge about this?  Maybe it is all harmless.  I know I can’t shelter her from shallow rewards and legalism.  But oh how I want her heart to stay tender to the needs around her.  I want to model ways of engaging with people without tidy third parties.

Or pizza parties.

Turning __ __

Today is my love’s day of birth!  Hoorah for this man in all his yumminess.

And all his playfulness.

And his snuggly daddiness.

And his we’re-gonna- get-through-this-ness.

And his sexiness (enhanced by the porn star glasses).

I’m a lucky lady.

Scott, enjoy the day!  I will spend it remembering all the birthdays we’ve celebrated together.  You are amazing!!   

Happy Birthday.

The Birthday Cake

Norah began describing her birthday cake about two months before her birthday.  She was extraordinarily specific about what she wanted.  She drew a picture and posted it on the fridge.  Usually I make her cake but I was intimidated by this project.   And frankly, I didn’t understand her description. 

So we went to the bakery.  I thought she would be wooed by other cakes.  Or, maybe she would see one she liked.  I was wrong.  As we wandered from cake to cake, a baker approached us and asked what the problem was.  I explained.  This wonderful woman was all seriousness as she sat down with Norah to design her cake.  Neither of them smiled.  Norah answered each question with decisiveness and firm opinion.  Who is this child? 

I was nervous when I picked up the cake.  Upon showing it to Norah, she nodded briskly and declared it “perfect.”  Scott and I high-fived. 

Here she is holding the picture she drew of her cake. 

  

We had a small family party this year.  Just as the guests were arriving, she bolted to her room, locked the door, and re-emerged wearing the shiny ensemble you see here.  Complete with ruby red slippers.

She’s growing up so big.

Turning five

My husband is a holiday fanatic.  This is not the first time or last time I’ll blog about it!  I often think life would be so boring if the girls only had me around.  Today Norah turns 5.  And so the day involves Scott’s birthday scavenger hunt fun.  He began this tradition as a way for him to be involved in her birthday when he is at work.  She gets as many presents as years.  Today, the clues are:

Message 1

Happy Birthday my little HotStuff Norah Beany Pants Moss Byers Squirmy Wormie Dancer SuperGirl!!!!!

You are now 5 years old….not 4, not even 3….but FIVE!!! Whoa! That’s one whole hands in fingers and thumb! Thats 5 little piggies…

I hope this is your most special birthday ever. So lets get started. 

You remember the rules last year?

Mommy will read you clues to 5 (thats right 5) hidden birthday presents. Each clue will also tell you when to read the very next clue.

Are you ready? You’ll have to think really hard now that you are FIVE I’ll be hiding your gifts with harder clues.

First Clue:

There is nothing worse than being cold! Daddy wanted you to be extra specially warm this year so he left your first gift (just like Santa) warming up near the hottest place in the house….its so hot that you could roast marshmallows. Good luck!

Next clue can be opened at 9:00am

Message 2

Ah….how are those pj’s? You know how much l like brown?!

I bet you look amazing.

Ready for Clue #2?

Your second gift is also the complete opposite in temperature….some might even say a bit frosty. This gift had to stay cool…so I hid it in a place for cold items. Not really cold…only pretend cold…I’ve heard that it is also a great place to test a hypothesis. 

Hope it makes you a “Jolly Happy Soul!”

Love you Birthday Girl….next clue at 10:30

Message 3 

Is it already 10:30???? Are you sure??

Maybe we should wait until 11 o’ clock? What do you think?

Oh well….I wont keep you waiting. 

Birthday Clue #3.

This Birthday gift is hidden in a coniferous forest, but not outside. This special gift loves the bright lights and is best friends with our buddy Jude. 

Clue#4 at 11:30

Message 4 

Do you love your Horse? Dont let mommy wash it….Speaking of washing….are you ready for Clue#4?

I thought so.

Birthday Clue # 4

This SLOWPOKE animal is kinda dirty…but he was afraid that a washing machine might mess up his hair too.

Anyway, he felt it was better to hide behind a big curtain.I think he thinks he is Spiderman….crazy

Clue #5 at 12:30

Message 5

This is it…your last hidden birthday present!!!!

Have you been especially good this year? I think so too. I am pretty sure that Santa put you in the NICE list!

Birthday Clue #5:

hmmm….this one is going to be tougher.

Did you know that we do not have any LIONS hiding in our house? Its true. I am so sure that I hid your next gift in your scary place.

Little Foot, Rudolf, Scooby and a couple other good friends are holding this one for you. Dark places should run and hide….Norah is now seeing things much brighter!!!

Good Luck! Have Fun!

Beany – I love you…and hope you had as much fun finding your presents as I did hiding them for you.

Enjoy the rest of your special day…you 5 year old girl you!

(The excitement builds and builds for a small birthday girl.  I love this man and how excited he gets by holidays and how magical he makes it for his girls.  Me included). 

Buy Mindful and Buy Local

Today I wanted to highlight a local farm for beautiful gift ideas. 

Shoals Creek Farm

Lotions, soaps, sugar scrubs, and more.  I’ve also heard the goat’s milk is delicious.

Linda, the amazing mama who raises the goats and crafts these goat’s milk products, has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever encountered.

She made a diaper rash cream for Cedar’s bum.  It has been the only thing that has worked on her poor little bottom. 

I’ve also fallen in love with the natural vapor rub and the sugar scrub.  I hate using Vick’s vapor rub since it is petroleum based.  Yuck. 

I can’t wait to try some of Linda’s soaps next.  I’m going for Monkey Farts or Hot Apple Cider.    

You can buy the products online or find them locally at Rose Hill Plantation or Pickens Family Chiropractic. 

These would make excellent teacher or hostess gifts.  Or stocking stuffers!  Go check them out.