Monthly Archives: October 2010

You’re not the boss of me.

Norah goes to a classical program once a week. 

This week, her teacher stepped out of the room and I was the only adult in the class.  The kids wandered closer and closer to the door to peek outside.  Finally, I told them to come back into the room.

“You’re not the boss of me.”

It was spoken matter-of-factly by one of the boys.  As a statement.  Not rudely or smugly. 

My first reaction was, “Thank goodness Norah isn’t the only one who says that!”

My second reaction was, “Oh yes I am.  I’m the grown-up.” 

My third reaction was, “Well, technically, he is right.”

The teacher didn’t put me in charge.  I’m not his mama.  And as I thought more about the incident, I realized just how important his point was. 

Norah’s school is in the middle of a renovation.  There are construction workers everywhere.  Let’s play, “what if?”

Now, of course, the kids are not left unsupervised but what if. 

What if a construction worker walked into the gym while the kids were playing and said, “I need one of you to come with me.  You there, little girl.” 

Have I taught my little girl that she does not obey all grown-ups simply because they are grown-ups?

I certainly don’t want her to be an 18 yr old one day forced to a strip search by her employer

My favorite book about teaching children to be safe is Gavin de Becker’s Protecting the Gift.  He describes 12 tests to keep kids safe.  Here is number three. 

3) Kids know it is ok to REBUFF AND DEFY adults

Have I taught her this important lesson?

Good for the mama of this little boy who taught her son to assert himself!

Selecting a Baby Bottle

I stopped to admire a baby bottle today.  Yes, really.  It sparked a post on bottles.  Probably more than most of you want to know!

Bottles can be a confusing purchase for a pregnant mama.  How many to buy?  Which brand?  Which size?  Bottles make claims of being the most breastfeeding-friendly, the safest, or the one most likely to reduce colic. 

Here is my personal opinion on bottles.  Note:  I’m not a baby bottle expert. 

First, bottles are not evil.  Realistically, most American babies will have a bottle at some point.  The bottle might contain expressed breastmilk, donated breastmilk, or formula.  These three liquids look alike.  I know my readers would not, but it bears stating:  Please do not judge a woman giving a bottle to a baby.  Remember, it may not even be her baby.  

How many?  If you’re breastfeeding, you don’t need more than one or two bottles.  Really.  Breastmilk can stay out at room temperature for up to 10 hours.  Formula cannot stay out for more than one hour.  If you’re working full-time, the milk will be fine at room temp for 10 hours.  Isn’t breastmilk amazing?  I had to supplement with donated milk for almost every feeding and I was very comfortable with only two bottles.  And then I broke one around 9 months and finished out the year with just one. 

What size?  Since you only need one or two, I would go ahead and buy an 8 or 9oz size. 

Which nipple?  There are many choices in nipples.  I prefer silicone.  Breastfed babies should always use a size 1 nipple. 

What bottles are safe?  The concerns with bottles are BPA, PVC, lead, and phthalates.  The material choices are plastic, glass, and stainless steel. 

Safest plastic choices are usually made from polypropylene or polyethylene.  Innobaby makes a silicone bottle.  Green to Grow uses polyether sulphone (PES).  There are many plastic choices.  A few are Adiri, Born Free, and Thinkbaby.  Born Free and Thinkbaby can also convert to sippy cups which saves some money.  Always a good idea.  Green to Grow also donates 1% of sales to environmental causes, donates new mamas in need, and claims to be socially responsible in their production.

Glass choices range from the tried-and-true EvenFlo to the fancier coddletime bottle with laboratory-grade glass and a silicone sleeve.  I have butter-fingers so I require a silicone sleeve.  I used Coddletime bottles with Cedar and still managed to break one.  I was impressed that it broke in large peices and the silicone caught the glass (as promised).

And then there are the stainless steel bottles.  These can be quite the eye-catcher.  I love the earthlust bottle and the organicKidz.  Both can convert to sippy cups.  Earthlust claims to be ethically made (in China).  The organicKidz bottle lids work as a measuring cup.  Some benefits to stainless steel: it can keep liquids hot or cool longer and it will not break.  However, you cannot microwave stainless steel.  I often used the Medela quick steam microwave bags on my glass bottles.  Still, these are dishwasher safe.   

What are your favorites?  What did I leave out?

Final Blessingway of the Year

This Saturday, Oct. 23, will be our last Blessingway before we break for the holidays.  Join us in the community room at Earth Fare at 2pm.

We’ll hear first time mama, Holly, share her homebirth experience.  And then our featured guest, licensed midwife Elizabeth Randolph, will discuss “Addicted to your Baby:  the role of hormones in birth.” 

Babies and children are welcome.  This event is dad-friendly.  It is usually a bit noisy with babes expressing their needs and wishes so expect an informal group.  Blessingways are open to the public and free.  Nobody is selling anything.  They were created for new and expectant parents but we welcome birth professionals, those thinking about becoming pregnant, or experienced parents.

Hope to see you there!

Mindful Birth Class Dates

The Mindful Birth Class will begin Nov. 7 and meet for six consecutive Sunday evenings.  We’ll meet at an OB office in Greer from 5pm-7pm. 

I need at least three couples to sign up in order to teach the class.  Please let me know as soon as possible if you would like to register so I can order your materials.  

I think you’ll love this class and learn so much!  I know I love teaching it. 

Email to register j_byers (at) bellsouth (dot) net. 

Teaser of things you will learn:

  • Why the amazing uterus has two opposing muscle fibers
  • How beta-endorphins from labor pass into your colostrum
  • Three easy techniques for resolving back labor
  • How to map your belly so you know how your baby is positioned
  • How to write a birth plan that doesn’t look like you found it on the internet
  • And how to protect the emotional atmosphere of your birthing space
  • And the biggest question of all:  when to go to the hospital/birth center or call your midwife to come

And so much more!

Paying Attention

Two more recent Norah moments:

In the middle of the thrift store

Norah (loudly):  Mom, do you have any breastmilk.

Me:  Um, well, yes.  I guess.  What?

Norah:  This puppy is an orphan and he NEEDS some breastmilk.  Will you nurse him?

Me:  Can it wait?

Norah (lifting her shirt and nursing the stuffed dalmation herself):  See, I tried but I don’t have any breastmilk.

Me (looking around at the people grinning and trying not to be obvious about eavesdropping):  Fine.  Ok.  I’m nursing the puppy. 

Norah:  Thanks mom.  You’re the greatest mom in the whole wide world!

Yep.  I nurse in public.

In the grocery store:

Norah (whispering):  Mom, mom!  Do you see that boy?  Over there? 

Me:  Yeah.

Norah:  well, I waved at him like this.  And he waved to me like this.

Me (distractedly):  ok honey.

Norah:  and then I swooped my hair like this.  D’ya know why?

Me:  Why?

Norah:  To make him fall in love with me.

Now I’m paying attention.  So fast she grows.

 

Oh *blush*

Thank you to A Little Bit of All of It  for selecting this blog as a “One Lovely Blog Award” winner. 

I will strive to live up to the loveliness!

Now I am honored to pass along the prize to 15 blogs I read.  I picked only mamas I have met in real life.  That isn’t part of the rules but it helped me narrow down my selection! 

For those who choose to pass along the award to others, the rules are:  accept the award on your blog and then select 15 lovely blogs to award.    

Without further ado, my lovely award recipients are (in no particular order):

  1. Babyfingers
  2. a la mode
  3. beneath this starry spinning
  4. Bringing Up Ballard
  5. Kidnapped by Suburbia
  6. Red Dirt Girl
  7. the rest of the story…
  8. Fresh Milk Delivered Daily
  9. Broken, Yet Beautiful
  10. Life Prints by Tracie
  11. Confessions of a Misplaced Alaskan
  12. Simply
  13. Adventures in Living & Learning
  14. My Thoughts
  15. My Loves

Hopefully a few of you ladies wll pass along the award to others.

14 Months

  I haven’t talked about Cedar in a while.  Here is a snapshot of her 14th month:

  Cedar loves:  adrenaline.  She loves the feeling of falling.  She likes to be thrown very high into the air, slung onto my back for wrapping, spun in circles, and playfully frightened.  She has mastered one of the playground slides and can go up the stairs and down the slide by herself (982 times).  She’s a big fan of food and pretty much eats all day long.  And last week, she learned to tote stools around to reach high places.  A whole new world of mischief opened up. 

  Cedar hates:  baby containers.  She screams in terror when placed in contraptions.  No playground baby swings, kelty backpack carriers, wagons, strollers, most high-chairs, etc.  I’m not sure why it is so scary to her.  She loves being worn in close-to-the-body carriers.  She hates when I leave her and she is very suspicious about it.  When we arrive at new places, there is clinging and digging in of fingernails until she is convinced I’m not leaving.  Then she’ll run from me and find something (dangerous) to explore.

  Mommy loves:  Cedar’s most-used words “thank-you” and “uh-oh.”  Both said with great solemnity.  Cedar pats me on the shoulder, gives open-mouthed kisses.  She laughs exuberant belly-laughs.  She has a very definitive nod for “yes” and “no.”   

  Mommy struggles with:  her velociraptor scream.  shopping with Cedar–it is impossible.  Her refusal to stay with anyone other than Scott without screaming.  Her hair.  We’re talking CRAZY matted up hair.  Cedar also removes her diaper.  Any chance she gets. 

Other notables: 

She has four teeth.  But considering her nursing frequency (addiction) these past few days, I would guess another is on the way.

She weighs 20 lbs. 

Her favorite toys:  cell phones, dress-up items, dolls, my dishes.

She sings Bob Marley’s “Buffalo Soldier.”

She likes to squat over small containers and pee on them (see above item about removing her diaper).  So we bought her this potty.  So far, no success with that. 

Here she is standing on a table with diaper half-off playing with markers.  This was around 11 months.  Danger+bare bum+mischief=success!

An idea that you can test

Norah (4yrs) has been fascinated with “hypothesis” lately.  She is ever performing science experiments.  A few days ago, she was rolling objects down the back of the couch to see which hit the cushion first.  And Sunday, she made a pulley using rope and a door knob to lift her stuffed monkey.  She spontaneously turned her rice crackers into moon phases. 

Recently regarding the mouse on her laptop (yes, she has a laptop–it was one we had retired):

Norah:  Daddy, my mouse won’t work.

Scott:  Well, let’s see.  Hmmm…it looks like someone cut the cord (!).  With scissors?  Norah, did you cut your mouse with scissors?

Norah:  No.  It just stopped working.

Scott:  You didn’t cut it with scissors?

Norah:  Well, actually.  Yes.

Scott:  Why did you lie?

Norah:  Because that is what I do.

Later she told me she had simply wanted to see what would happen.  All the while I thought she didn’t know what “hypothesis” even meant.

Norah:  Mom, a hypothesis is an idea we can test. 

Hmm…maybe instead of homeschooling, I should just let her watch “Sid the Science Kid” all day long.  And hide the scissors.

Not all childbirth classes are equal; or, you get what you pay for

We have some amazing childbirth classes in my area.  Taught by seasoned birth workers.  These classes all fall in about the same price range.  Some classes, however, are underpriced and for couples looking only at the price tag, it can seem a steal.  Are they apples to apples?  How do you know which to pick? 

I’ve had a few couples who did not take my classes because they felt it was too expensive. 

Now, to me, there is a difference in the couple that tells me they can’t afford my class and the couple who says it is too expensive.  I lower the price, barter, or work out payment plans all the time for folks who can’t afford it. 

What are you paying for when you take a childbirth class? 

1)  You’re paying for the instructor’s credentials.  I spent ton o’ money to become certified as a Hypnobabies Instructor. 

2)  You’re paying for materials.  For example, Hypnobabies students receive 7 CDs, three books, a tote bag, and loads of handouts.

3)  You’re paying for class costs:  travel expenses, space rental, supplies, business expenses, etc.

Hospitals and some birth centers/childbirth businesses offer free or very low cost childbirth classes.  The hospitals do it because they want you to be a good patient and to understand your options (i.e. hospital policies and procedures).  The birth groups are perhaps trying to bring in business for other services. 

I’ll use hypnosis for childbirth as an example.  It is so hip and trendy to use hypnosis for birth these days.  There are several programs available:  Hypnobabies, Hypnobirthing, Hypbirth.  These have been around for a while and have wonderful outcomes.     

But hypnosis for childbirth is more than simple relaxation and it is more than listening to a script.  It is a rather complex process.  For Hypnobabies, before I could even train as an instructor, I had to complete 50 hours of hypnosis training and be tested on the materials.  And let me tell you, that was some intimidating stuff.  Self-hypnosis is not something I could just teach one of my doula clients outside of a class.  It takes weeks of practice and compounding.

When you pay for a Bradley class, you expect it to be taught by a certified Bradley instructor.  Not someone who used Bradley for their birth or who read Husband-Coached Childbirth a few times.  By the way, we do have two amazing Bradley instructors in town:  Mary Kury and Kristin Abboud.   

So when you’re shopping for a childbirth class, ask some simple questions:

1)  What is the instructor’s background?  I don’t think everyone needs to be certified.  There are some wise women out there who are treasures and I could sit at their feet all day long.  I could care less if they are certified.  But listen to the instructor tell you her story.  You’ll know if she is someone you can trust.

2)  If it is a trademarked program (Bradley, Lamaze, Hypnobirthing, Birthing from Within), is the instructor currently credentialed?  You can usually check the parent website for instructor listings. 

3)  What is the cost?  If an instructor is teaching a 10 or more hour course and is charging less than 150.00, I would question it.  Most trademarked classes are 250.00 or more.  And if a class is less than 10 hours long, it is probably not a comprehensive class.

Bottom Line:  Do your homework.  Find the class that matches your birth expectations the best.  I don’t think hypnosis is for everyone and I regularly refer couples to my stellar Bradley friends.

Mindful Birth

Mindful Birth is a 6 week series that grew organically from the private classes I created for individuals.  It is appropriate for women choosing home, birth center, or hospital birth.  The defining philosophy behind this series is that attitude and expectation are key to having a positive birth experience.  The classes are 2 hours each and meet weekly in Greer.  The series breaks down like this:

Class 1:  Enjoying a low-risk pregnancy (nutrition, exercise, positive story, meditation)
Class 2:  Physiology of normal birth
Class 3:  Variations (labor dystocia, prodromal labor, interventions, informed consent)
Class 4:  Celebrating your birth (an overview and practice of many coping techniques)
Class 5:  Planning for your birthplace (understanding options of chosen birthplace, birth plans, packing a birth bag, creating a homebirth checklist)
Class 6:  Comprehensive birth rehearsal and postpartum

This class will begin the 2nd week of November and will meet in the evenings. 

I continue to teach Hypnobabies which is enjoying great outcomes.  My next series will begin January 2.  I have three spots remaining for this class.  While I love the student statistics and satisfaction from this class, hypnosis isn’t for everyone.  And honestly, Mindful Birth is loads of fun to teach!

Please email me if you’re interested in enrolling–j_byers (at) bellsouth (dot) net.