What do you do on a due date such as this? Today I should be bulging with belly. I would complain with some pride about my backache and my difficulty sleeping. I would be toying with ideas of spicy food, acupressure, sex, herbal teas, or maybe, the dreaded castor oil. I would spend hours doing Yoga. I would make final preparations–are those tiny cloth diapers spotless and handy? Is that a dog hair on my chocolate Moby? Have the ceilings been scrubbed? Video camera charged? Birth supplies ready? I would be vibrating with the excitement of birth. Would it be as beautiful this time? Would I choose waterbirth or something different? What new strength would I find? What newness would I learn of God?
Instead, here I am–drinking caffeinated coffee with flat(ish) belly; knowing I’ve already learned new lessons and God is as with me today as he was in September. And the strength–I have already found it and carry it with me today. My husband already caught this baby and we have already held him.
Today means that I can release the last breath I’ve been holding. And breathe in the deep of the Child already given to us whose name is Peace.