Author Archives: juliebyers

The Break Up

Posted on January 27, 2010 by juliebyers

My sister broke up with her OB this week.  She still hasn’t decided where she will birth but she knows it won’t be at the giant, high c-section rate baby factory–the only place her OB delivers. 

Her regular doctor wasn’t in so she saw another woman in the practice.  The break up went something like this:

Noelle:  I don’t want to deliver at __________.

Doc:  Oh, well, um that’s where we deliver.  Where were you thinking of going?

Noelle:  I’m considering a homebirth.

Doc (with a look of pity):  I don’t think you’ll find any midwives around here.

Noelle:  I know several midwives around here.

Doc:  Not licensed ones.

Noelle:  Yes, licensed ones.

Doc:  Well.  I think you should talk with Dr. _____ [your regular OB].  I’m sure she would be willing to let you try for a natural birth.

Dear reader, please let that settle, won’t you?  I’m sure she would be willing to let you try for a natural birth. 

Sigh.

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Red Lobster on Wade Hampton Rd in Greenville

Posted on January 27, 2010 by juliebyers

What a friendly place!

Not only do they serve great food but they also provide a complimentary cloth napkin to put over your baby’s head!

Yes, it is true.  Free cloth napkins so that no one else in the restaurant has to see a baby eating his meal. 

This week, at our friendly Red Lobster, my dear friend nursed her fretful baby.  After she finished, the General Manager popped over and placed a cloth napkin on my friend’s table.  Ms. Helpful Manager patted it and said quietly, “In case you want to nurse again.”  And then fled to the kitchen. 

It seems Mr. and Mrs. Old Grumpypants a few tables away didn’t appreciate seeing a baby nurse and complained.  Rather than offering them a different table, Ms. Helpful Manager chose to embarrass a mother. 

I have some thoughts.  (Surprised?)

1)  Don’t mess with mothers of babies.  Period.  It is the most difficult role on the planet and should be treated with respect.

2)  It really doesn’t matter what you THINK about nursing in public.  Nursing in public is protected by SC LAW.  I don’t really like that my neighbor shoots guns in his backyard but he is protected by law.  Nothing I can do about it.  You don’t like it?  Don’t look.

3)  Again…many babies won’t nurse under cover.  And (see #2) they don’t have to. 

4)  The World Health Organization, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and others recommend that babies be fed “on demand.”  That means that the baby knows when he’s hungry better than we do.  So let the baby eat when he chooses–regardless of convenience or audience.

Please remember:  breastfeeding would not be such a big deal if it was a normal part of our daily interactions.  The more mamas who nurse in public, the less likely that my daughters will be made to feel ashamed one day when they nurse my grandchildren. 

If you work in a business:  leave the mamas alone. 

If you’re uncomfortable around a nursing mama:  see my post on nursing etiquette. 

Kudos to you, Red Lobster.  I give you the BPA-laden, plastic bottle of formula award.

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iBirth

Posted on January 23, 2010 by juliebyers

Interesting.  iBirth is a virtual childbirth class and doula.  Anyone tried it?

Meanwhile, is there an app for everything??

Yes, apparently.

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Attached

Posted on January 22, 2010 by juliebyers

  There is no such thing as a baby.  There is a baby and a someone.

                                                                                   –Dr. Donald Winnicott

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The Continuing Saga of a Young Pregnant Couple

Posted on January 19, 2010 by juliebyers

I’m going to keep blogging about them until I’m told to stop!  Hee hee.

In the continuing saga of Noelle and Zach’s first pregnancy:

Noelle found out she is not eligible for FMLA.  Or rather, the small not-for-profit company for whom she works is not required to participate in FMLA.  So no maternity leave that way.

They are, like many couples, wading through their birth options.  The doctor she normally sees only delivers at the large public hospital with a fairly high c-section rate.  She assumed her insurance would cover a freestanding birth center but nope.  Not gonna happen.  A homebirth is a reasonably priced choice–and of course, comes with the added bonus of a low intervention rate–but will still cost considerably more than her out-of-pocket at a hospital.  Choices.  Choices. 

Stay tuned.

In happier news, Noelle and Zach did get to see their wee poppy seed via an 8 week ultrasound.  And got a DVD recording of it to forever keep.  Fancy schmancy!

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Morning Glory

Posted on January 15, 2010 by juliebyers

I’m so happy to announce an exciting new class beginning in February taught by Ashley–the same crafty mama I blogged about in December. 

Morning Glory Parent-Tot Group
For children ages 1-3 1/2 with a parent, grandparent or caregiver.

A parent-tot group is a nurturing environment where adults attend with their child for play, mealtime and conversation with others on early childhood topics. The small group, limited to 7 families, fosters community and offers a space of support for families. We can further our bonds with our children while cultivating community with others. It is a time to retreat from the busyness of the world and focus our minds on ourselves, our children, and our small group in a warm, lovely environment.

Join us for 2 1/4 hours on Tuesday mornings in our “classroom” – a cozy little guest house on a gorgeous private property in North Greenville’s Green Valley subdivision. Together we will:

~ explore Nature’s beauty as we discover magic hidden around every turn on our group nature walk

~ engage in both outdoor and indoor play with toys made of natural materials

~ learn interactive games, songs, verses and rhymes that reflect the changing seasons; you can take these home and immediately bring into your family life

~ cook and share a nutritious group snack using whole grains, fruits and veggies (organic when available), and herbal teas – all snacks provided

~ work on an adult craft to share with your child (handmade toys are the best gift for a young one-when made by a loved one it’s even better!)

~ experience puppet shows with beautiful, lovingly created all natural puppets

~ spark conversations on parenting and early childhood topics

~ learn the importance of rhythm and purposeful work as a method of guidance, worthy of imitation by our young children

Adults are asked to actively participate in all aspects of the group to provide a healthy model for learning through imitation by the children. Adults will have opportunities to observe, as well as engage in, their child’s play while contemplating their developmental needs. Snack and craft time conversations will focus on early childhood topics previously decided upon by the group. Families have the opportunity to take home photocopies of related articles and all of the songs/rhymes/verses/games for further reading and reference.

The session includes:
Adult Orientation on Saturday, February 6th 9:30-11am
six group classes on Tuesday mornings beginning February 9th – March 23rd 9:15-11:30am
the possibility of one more adult only class later in the session
all snacks and craft materials
handouts for adult reference

Cost:
$125 for one adult with a child
Additional children/adults in the same family may attend.  A discounted fee is offered. 

Please contact Ashley for more information or to register at waldorfmama[at]gmail[dot]com.

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Posted in Green Living, Natural Living, Parenting, Play. Bookmark the permalink.

Spilled Milk

Posted on January 14, 2010 by juliebyers

Today I made catnip popsicles.  I infused catnip from my herb garden for 20 minutes.  Poured into popsicle molds with a tiny drop of orange juice and agave nectar.  Norah won’t take straight catnip so I have to hide the taste. 

I might make a few (without any oj or nectar) for Cedar to suck on.  Catnip is reputed to help with teething.  And teething is the preoccupation these days.  And nights.

I thought this might be a nice treat before bed.  Norah gets so wound up in the evenings when daddy comes home.  Her body flails like a fish knocking over any object that isn’t nailed down.  Catnip = mellow.   

And speaking of knocking things down–

Norah is clumsy with her body these days.  Full of cooped-up-winter energy.  I won’t name everything she has dropped or spilled this morning.  Just before I wrote this, she spilled a cup of milk.  My first instinct was righteous indignation.  You know, the exasperated mom voice.  The drawn out “norahhhhh” with a trace of adult whine. 

Then I remembered my own spills when I was a kid.  Whenever I broke something (and later, when I got a speeding ticket or two), my parents reacted with patience and kindness.  My memory of it is something of kinship.  My mom saying something like “we all drop things sometimes” or “I got a speeding ticket once and…”  It checked me today.  As it has other days. 

Thanks mom and dad for providing a pattern of grace and gentleness for this flailing-like-a-fish mama to follow. 

Aren’t these the coolest popsicle molds?  Norah’s great grandparents gave her these for Christmas.  Adorable no-spill (very important) ring pops.

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Life in the Hermit House

Posted on January 12, 2010 by juliebyers

Just a little update:

Cedar:  She is 5 months now.  She continues to cry if anyone other than Scott holds her.  I’m told she settles eventually if I’m not around but that doesn’t make it easy for me, the caregiver, or Cedar.  I wonder what it is about her temperament that causes this reaction.  She is a smiley little thing with a snakey long tongue but sometimes if family/friends look at her, she will fall apart into tears.  She doesn’t do this with strangers.  So odd.  Cedar is an easy baby if we stay home.  So we stay home.  Alot.  I was gone for 17 hours for a birth (hoorah wonderful VBAC homebirth!) and thanks to Carey, mom, and Scott, Cedar was well-cared for while I was away.  No permanent damage!     

Norah:  She is 4.  And lately, the whining and tantruming have re-surfaced.  I thought we left those way behind.  There are also many dramatic “I hates” and “I will nevers” and stomping of feet.  I feel some urgency to intervene before she is ruined forever.  But I know the urgency is only in my head.  She is fine and finding her independence which I’m sure is scary.  And finding her place in the family now that she is not an only child.  Today, I experimented with feeding her protein snacks much more frequently and the whining has dramatically decreased.  

Me:  I long for a few hours without Cedar.  I leave her with Scott when I teach classes or go to prenatals but I would like to go out for coffee with my husband.  We went to a concert in Asheville Sunday night at The Grey Eagle and yes, I wore my baby.  Thankfully she slept through most of it but I covered her ears because the band was loud.  I admit I felt a little out of place. 

Scott:  keeps on turning out the gorgeous wood.  Check out this cedar baby spoon. 

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Appalled

Posted on January 11, 2010 by juliebyers

The Ohio Department of Health has released terrible statistics about cesarean rates in their state. 

In 2008, 27.1% of low-risk, first time mothers gave birth by cesarean section. 

Almost a third of healthy women cannot give birth vaginally in Ohio hospitals?  They receive major abdominal surgery (which has an increased risk of maternal death among many other infant and maternal complications).

I’m certain Ohio is not alone.  Good for them for revealing these numbers!

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Brow-wiper

Posted on January 11, 2010 by juliebyers

It is a hard thing for a doula to admit:

The best births are the ones at which I’m not needed.  Superfluous.  Merely a concierge service.  Standing around twiddling my thumbs or sitting in the corner knitting. 

Because at those births, the birthing couple can say entirely, “We did it all ourselves.” 

I was on my way to a birth recently when the dad called and said they had decided to go on to the hospital.  I arrived at the hospital just before they did.  Maybe 7 contractions from the elevator to the bed, the baby was born.  The doctor barely got a glove on. 

What did I do at this birth?  Hmmmm.  I wiped a brow.  Spoke some words.  Took a couple of pictures.  Made some red raspberry leaf tea for afterbirth pains.  The mom and dad were the only heroes in this birth story–as they should be! 

In this instance, I was just an expensive brow-wiper. 

The trouble with birth is that you can’t predict the path it will take.  And you often can’t predict the caregivers who will attend you.  Will they have patience?  Will they know labor tricks to resolve a complication without resorting to abdominal surgery.  Because I attend births both in-hospital and out-of-hospital, I’ve seen c-sections for things that were resolved with time and technique in other settings.

A doula is an insurance plan.  You hope you won’t need her but you’re glad she’s there!

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