RSS Feed

Category Archives: Hypnobabies

Fear in Birth continued

My post on Fear during Birth received some insightful comments.  They deserve their own post.

Hypnosis:  I’ve only attended one birth, the birth of one of my Hypnobabies students and fears. She held on to some fear during her birth. Finally she decided on her own to take some time, listen to the fear clearing track, read a self-written affirmations sheet and then she really got into her active birthing time. Baby came super fast once she was able to release those fears. Pretty amazing.

Processing previous experience to prepare for VBAC:  I had feelings of failure following my first birth. I’ve worked through my fears through talking about it, processing and reprocessing my first birth w/ my son many MANY times. I’ve cried. I’ve prayed. I’ve talked w/ people (you included) and allowed myself to experience the feelings that came after that first birth. Being pregnant again I don’t feel fearful. I have worked through my fear and KNOW that I CAN have a VBAC, natural birth. When I think about it, I am excited. Excited for what I know I can do, excited to have this opportunity again. Excited to be past my fear.

Preparing through education:  I prepared myself by reading a lot. For me, if I know what to expect, it isn’t scary anymore. So I learned all I could about the birthing process and what to expect, what was normal. Also, reading and listening to lots of birth stories of all kinds. I wasn’t afraid at all during birth and loved my experience. This time around most of my fears center on others and their involvement after the birth which was a big issue with my last birth. I’m trying to work through it by preparing them and also lining up my own support.

Talking about it:  I spoke about my fears with my husband, my doula, and the psychologist who did my hypnobirthing sessions. Talking through them and having a plan to deal with the possibility, made me more calm.

Expecting birth to be natural and normal:  I really didn’t have any fears. Part of that was ignorance of course, the first time, but I’d been raised to believe it was all very natural and normal. Not easy, but nothing to fear. I’m grateful for that since Mom went through nearly every scenario over the course of five births, including one that was painless, and a very traumatic emergency c/s (that was actually medically necessary!) and so much in between – she could have passed on very negative views of birth, but she didn’t. I read everything I could find, I was determined to go natural, but hadn’t even considered homebirth at that point. And by God’s grace, Mom was right about birth for me. My first daughter’s birth was amazing! Faster and easier than I thought it could be – but more painful than I expected, as well. Back labor caught me off-guard, but counter-pressure made a huge difference. I was checked all too early and all too often, but I had progressed each time, so that helped me stay positive. It was after my daughter was born that the fear showed up! I think I focused so much on the birth that actually having a child to raise was something of a shock.

Visualization:  I realized that my fear of pain, tearing, pooping, swearing was basically mind over matter. During the course of my pregnancy I gained strength from envisioning Mary giving birth to Jesus and how she had no anesthesia, no hospital, etc… It helped me know that I could do it. And I would do it. No. Matter. What. If SHE could do it, I could do it. I told myself this every time fear would creep in.

Redefining it:  I think for me, the scariest thing about the birth was my mother racing me to the hospital like a madwoman–traffic in Cairo never scared me so badly as my mom whipping in and out of traffic like she was! (Really, did the midwife *have* to tell us that an ambulance would take too long, and then tell my mom that she may have to pull over and help me birth somewhere along the interstate? Couldn’t she have just said “Go now, and go quickly”?)  Before the birth, my biggest fear was that my daughter would come early, and my husband wouldn’t have come from Egypt yet. That’s actually how it happened (which is why my mother was driving), but during the birth itself, I felt sadness for that, but no fear about whether or not I could handle it. In retrospect, even the fear of that happening before the birth wasn’t *fear*; it was sorrow for what he’d miss out on, and what we’d miss out on as a family, if that happened.

Choosing NOT to fear:  I ignored fear during my pregnancy. I reveled in my glow and bore my growing belly proudly. When I went into preterm labor at 34 weeks, all of the fears compounded and blossomed. The fears of the unknown, of the inexperience, and questioning whether my body would instinctively know what to do came pouring down right beside the new fears…will my baby be okay? How long will he be confined in NICU? Why is he coming now? What is the problem???
During active labor, I pushed my fears away. I made a conscious decision my baby was not going to be born into a feeling of fear. I would not fight him; tell him it wasn’t time–but in my mind embrace him and love him. I imagined fear during labor washing away like waves on the sand. Breathing, loving, crossing one bridge at a time, focusing not on what lay on the other side but what was happening at the present.
The whole time I wanted to/could have easily given in to fear. Instead, I mindfully decided to trust God and His Purpose. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,” Ps 46:1-2.

Writing down the fears:  With my first pregnancy, I wrote down an entire list of fears probably a couple of weeks before my birthing time. I still have the sheet and it is interesting to read them now.

More hypnosis:  With my second pregnancy, I worried that the birth might not be as great as the first one. I guess I just listened to the fear clearing Hypnobabies c.d. to remove some of that fear. The birth was super awesome, so the fear didn’t come true.

Identifying with other women:  With this pregnancy, I know in the beginning I had worries….1 in 3 women have a c-section, is my luck out? Then just two days ago I was reading Holistic Midwifery, Vol. 1 and I came upon a page that talked about that fear specifically for mom’s going in to their third pregnancy. I made me feel so much better reading that other women feel the same way. I’ve been listening to fear clearing more too.

Any others ways you want to add?

Business

Hypnobabies Class:  I have two spaces remaining in my June/July Hypnobabies class.  This six-week series meets in Greer on Mondays from 6-9pm.  We begin June 11 (a week from tomorrow–so do not dilly-dally!).  Have I mentioned how much I love Hypnobabies births?  So much so that I give a discount to doula clients who take Hypnobabies?  Because, as a doula, I have noticed that Hypnobabies births are generally shorter and easier.  Good stuff, that!

Doula Availability:  Because of those in-a-hurry- June births, I have space open in June.  I could take another client in July.  And I have space in August and September.  I’m used to busy birthy summers and typically take on more clients but this one wants to laze by.

I’ve never paid for advertising.  My work has grown through word of mouth and I am so incredibly thankful for my amazing clients, students, and friends for trusting me to serve the ones they love.  I remember the first time I stepped out on my own–away from my doula mentor–and thought, who will ever hire me?  And through this journey, I’ve learned to trust that the families I’m meant to serve will find me.

I hope the summer ones find me before they go into labor…

New Birth Story

I’ve added a new birth story.  Check out Rachel’s waterbirth at Covenant Birth Center.  Rachel is a first time mom who used Hypnobabies.

Here is a sneak peak:

The pressure waves were now seemingly right on top of each other and much, much stronger. As weird as it sounds, my heart felt gratitude towards them. I think this is one of the main principles of Hypnobabies that really became engrained in my mind and heart and helped me through labor. These powerful sensations were taking over my entire being in order to help our baby come to us safely, and soon! My “aah”ing became more intense, but again, as strange as it may sound, I can honestly say that pain was still not the sensation that I was feeling. 

Enjoy!  And congratulations Rachel and Colin!

P.S. I have only two spaces remaining in my June/July class.

NEW Hypnobabies Class (June/July)

I’m opening registration for my next Hypnobabies class.  We’ll meet Mondays from 6pm-9pm in Greer.  The first class is June 11 and we’ll meet for six weeks.

All materials are included.  The cost is 250.00.

Please contact me if you’re interested or have questions.  I have four spaces available in the class.  Email:  j_byer@bellsouth.net.

My Amazing Childbirth Students

I added a gallery of pics from my childbirth students.  So thankful they were willing to share these pictures!

New Birth Story

I love this story from one of the Hypno-Doulas in our community.

She went from being told “You’re just not good at being pregnant” to having a beautiful homebirth.

She went from listening to the “Baby Stay In” hypnosis script to the “Baby Come Out!” script.

She went from previous preterm births to full term.She went from feeling fear to empowerment.

Enjoy!

Lately

I haven’t done one of these in awhile.

Adoring: my May clients. Two beautiful families. Their births will be extraordinary.

Listening to:

Proud of: my students and the amazing, outside-the-norm births they experience!

Never Leaving Home Without: My LifeFactory bottle filled with coconut water, chlorophyll, and lemons.

Appreciating: coffee

Nostalgic about: gluten. Oh how I miss it. I’ve been gluten-free for four whole days.

Reading: Little Women with Norah. The Easter Bunny is bringing her tickets to the musical.

Buying: Vitamins and herbs. This family is consuming some serious supplements of late.

Drinking: green tea. Trying to get three cups a day.

Working on: A new blog look. This one has long grown stagnant.

Wishing: Cedar would decide to poop on the potty. I threw away a cloth diaper the other day because I just couldn’t make myself clean it. Shhhhh…don’t tell anyone.

Giddy about: hmmm. I can’t think of anything. I need more giddy in my life of late.

Feeling: Heavy for my dear friend who will be sending off her Airman to faraway places.

Missing: my computer. It crashed last night. As much as I would like to say the iPad satisfies, it falls short in areas like blogging, creating Facebook events, creating documents, working with media files. I would like to insert a picture in this post. Alas, I don’t know how.

Grumpy that: my poor missionary sister in Cambodia gets to see Hunger Games before I do.

To be astonished

Let me keep my mind on what matters,

which is my work,

which is mostly standing still

and learning to be astonished.

–Mary Oliver

New Birth Story!

I added a beautiful birth story to the collection.  This Hypnobabies birth was with the new Greenville Midwifery Care at GHS.  It was mom’s first baby!  Get a kleenex before clicking over.

Upcoming Classes

I am teaching another round of parenting classes for Natural Baby.  This series is so much fun!  It covers everything I WISH someone would have taught me before my babies were born.  Please let your expectant friends know about the series.  They can sign up for the entire six weeks for 80.00 or choose individual classes for 20.00.  The cost is per couple although many students come alone.  Schedule below:

March 21:   Try to See It My Way (Infant Communication) 
March 28:  Breastfeeding 
April 4:  Now What?  The First Six Weeks
April 11:  Sleeping Like a Baby
April 18:  Having a Baby without Breaking the Bank 
April 25:  Parenting the First Year 
 
My upcoming Hypnobabies class is full.  I’m accepting students for the next open series which begins Sundays (5pm-8pm) May 6.  Email me if you are interested:  j_byers (at) bellsouth (dot) net.
 
I’m teaching a Positive Discipline Class for Toddlers and Preschoolers March 31 from 1pm-3:30pm in Greenville.