Shameful Neglect

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I know I’ve been absent from my blog.  Bear with me, dear readers! 

I’m focusing on the new Upstate BirthNetwork website which I hope to launch this weekend.   More news to come.  In the meantime, if you’d like to get the scoop on UBN, you can visit our facebook page or come to this weekend’s Blessingway.

What else has been going on?

Oh yes, I helped a mama have her baby!  Ho hum, I’m a doula…that is what I do.  But no!  It was a fast-moving baby and there was no one to help except her husband and me.  And she gave birth standing up.  Wearing her Nike’s. 

I’d like to nominate her as a new Nike spokeswoman!

Other than that, it has been a quiet week.

My love

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It isn’t his birthday.  Or our anniversay.  Or father’s day. 

It doesn’t need to be. 

This is my husband.

I’ve loved him for 17 years.  Yes, that long. 

I still fancy him.  Quite a bit.  We stay up late talking.  And even though he doesn’t love how birth affects our family, he listens to me talk about birth story after birth story and serving families.  He hears me rant about hospitals and OBs.  He offers insights and keeps me grounded when I panic worry.  He can talk ruptured membranes/intermittant monitoring/mucus plug/nipple stimulation with the best of them because he knows it is important to me.  He’ll make a flyer for my events or pick out the perfect doula gear

He has this look.  Oh this look that he gives me when the day has been particularly challenging and the girls have wrecked the house.  The look says “we’re going to make it and we’re going to do it together.”  And I can take another deep breath as he grabs a guitar to sing with the girls or puts on Mr. Roboto for a dance session. 

When I make a mistake (which is often), he is so easy.  So quick to forgive.  So quick to move on.  So quick to laugh.  He’s slowly teaching me to fight with him instead of sulk.  I’m a slow learner.

He likes to pick out my clothes and take me shopping.  I would be much dorkier if I didn’t have him in my closet.  He is way cooler than I am.  Sometimes when I am completely lost under a pile of rejected clothes, he’ll drop everything to be my fashion advisor.   He also explains jokes and slang to me. 

He’s handy.  A fixer of things–both tangible and intangible.  Norah once said, “Daddies fix things.  Mommies don’t fix things.  Well, they fix dinner.”  I’ve since educated her on that point.  However, her daddy is a first-rate fixer.   

Finally, and this one is tough to swallow, I think he might be better at this parenting gig than me.

 So, in honor of no special occasion, I want to say thanks to my love. 

 

The weird one at the homeschool co-op

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I have often felt out of place in our homeschool co-op. Like the one time a bunch of the moms were standing around talking and it came out that I was the only one who had gone to public school. (P.S. I loved public school and I’m thankful my mama didn’t homeschool me.)  I tried to blend.  I didn’t even wear a single hippie skirt all year long!  But I noticed the blank stares when I asked certain questions. 

The event was Field Day. Here are the top three ways I felt weird.

1) The kids did a relay race involving a plastic spoon and a cheese ball. *Sidenote: the kids were warned not to RUN with the spoon. I chuckled over that one and considered sending it in to Free-Range Kids.  But that isn’t what I’m blogging.  At the end of the race the kids were allowed to eat their cheese ball (as long as it hadn’t fallen on the ground…again, chuckle).  Norah had never tasted a cheese ball.  I know, I’m an awful mom.  She crinkles her nose, smells it, touches it with her tongue.  Then gleefully eats it.  And she begins loudly gushing to everyone within earshot, “I’ve never HAD a cheese ball.  Mama, have you ever had a cheese ball?  Oh it is so good!”  Seriously, she hasn’t stopped talking about this glorious experience. 

Perhaps I should have a food tasting day in the privacy of our home.  She’ll taste her first poptart, moonpie, dr. pepper, fruity pebbles, grape crush, easy cheese, frozen chicken nuggets, spaghetti o’s.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s had plenty of junk food.  I just see now that there are missing elements to her repertoire.

2)  Then we had lunch.  I let Norah pack her box.  She chose green peas, half a cheese/lettuce sandwich, a carrot, and edamame.  Almost every other family ordered Papa John’s.  Can you say “sore thumb?”

3) The Grand Finale:  the ice cream truck arrived.  More than a few moms glance at me with concern or ask “Are you going to let her get ice cream?”  Of course I am!  She chose a cotton candy twirl popsicle.  Then announced to the whole group, “I’ve never gotten ice cream from an ice cream truck before!”  Ok, that is simply not true.  Rascal!

I loved the event.  And I’m thankful to the moms who organized it.  Norah and Cedar had a great time.  Norah loves her friends there.  And so do I.  I’m proud of Norah for making healthy choices (she even does it when I’m not around).  Homeschool is so new to me and I’m overly observant–mostly of myself.  I also see that I don’t neatly fit into a group.  

But then again, when does one neatly fit into any group?

Expecting twins?

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Sacred Moments

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It was the middle of the day.  There were four of us.  A woman, her husband, their doula, and a baby ready to be born.  The light was muted by curtains.  She had carefully created this birthing room in her home.

It was an ordinary weekday.  The neighborhood went about its business.  The postman delivered the mail.  In the distance, someone cut the grass.  The school bus picked up and dropped off children.

But inside the birthing room, something transcendent was happening.

Inside the birthing room, there was silence.  For an hour, complete silence as the woman worked with her waves.  The only sound was water.  Each time a wave began, I slowly poured water from a pitcher down her back.  And in the background, water flowed from a fountain she had placed in the room.

I didn’t dare speak.  The space was heavy with the sacred.

This is what the Lord says—he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and will help you:  Do not be afraid…

for I will pour out water on the thirsty land…

I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring and my blessing on your descendants. 

They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.

(Isaiah 44:2-4)

Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—a place near your altar. 

(Psalm 84:3)

This is what the Lord says—he who created you…he who formed you…

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you by name; you are mine. 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you…

Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.” 

(Isaiah 43:1-4)

I glimpse the sacred at all births I attend.  I feel near to the altar.  Like a priestess serving the woman; but ultimately the Author of this new life.  It is a meeting of worlds–the spiritual and physical.  Soon after, the midwife and her apprentice arrived.  The baby was born.  And the world carried on, though forever changed by a new life.

As birth servants, may we ever tread carefully in these birthing rooms.  These altars.

Jenny’s Hypnobabies Birth

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Look, look at these amazing pictures from Jenny’s birth.

Vibrant, alive, active, fresh, pure, intentional.  These are the words I think when I look at this birth scene.  And full of love, family, smiles, gentleness.   

I hope she’ll give me permission to add her birth story to my collection.  (No pressure Jenny)

New Anderson Babywearing Group

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Upstate Babywearers has added a new group meeting.  We now have an Anderson group!  The first meeting is April 26th at 6pm.   Anderson Library.  The plan is to meet the last Tuesday of the month. 

Hoorah!

Locals: busy Saturday!

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We have two exciting events this Saturday and I know I’ll see many of you there.

First, the Great Cloth Diaper Change.  The cloth diaper community is trying for a Guinness World Record: the most diapers changes simultaneously.  And, of course, the event will raise awareness about sustainability for Earth Day.

Natural Baby is a host location for Greenville.  Please take a bit of time out of your Saturday to join us–your friendly neighborhood changing station!  Even if you don’t cloth diaper, you can join in.  Just check the appropriate box on the registration and a cloth diaper will be provided. 

Go here to register and print your eticket.  The event begins at noon but arrive 30 minutes early please. 

After you’ve changed your baby’s diaper, go for a walk and have some lunch.  Then come back at 2pm for our April Blessingway.  April is Cesarean Awareness Month.  We’ll hear Erin’s Greer Hospital VBAC story and Angie’s planned cesarean story.  Our local ICAN leader, Jenn Anderson, will talk about steps to achieve a VBAC in the upstate.  Of course, little ones are always welcome! 

See you there!

Men of the Cloth

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I’ve taught five Cloth Diaper 101 classes since December.  Each time, I think…surely there won’t be any students left in Greenville who will attend.  And each time, there is a crowd.  Bring in some more chairs!

Yesterday’s class was no different.  Except the students were all pregnant for the first time.  And each pregnant mama was accompanied by a dad.  Perfect dad attendance. 

Not only that–some of these dads could have taught the class.  They had studied up on cloth!  I was amazed at their comments and questions. 

While we don’t get gold stars in parenting for using cloth diapers, I’m thrilled that so many couples in Greenville are making this environmental choice.  Each parent who makes the choice to cloth diaper reduces our local landfill space by over 2 tons per child. 

Well-done, you environmentally savvy couples!

If you’d like to learn more about cloth, the Cloth Diaper 101 class is offered every 3rd Saturday at 1pm.  It is free!

The Great Invention (Norah’s booby trap)

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Sisters.

Sometimes they play so sweetly.  Like when Norah reads to Cedar. 

But the rivalry began early.  About 2 weeks after Cedar was born, Norah calmly suggested we throw her to the lions.  Or take her outside and leave her in the grass. 

More recently, Norah announced the completion of her “Great Invention.”  In case you haven’t heard, Norah is an excellent engineer.  She ties amazing knots (often tying my skirt strings to a kitchen drawer handle while I’m cooking…yes, disaster).  Her goal is to become an architect and she designs and builds fun projects:  a birdhouse, a leprauchan trap, etc.

And then, The Great Invention. 

I was confused when I first saw it.  She eagerly explained it to me.

“Cedar will follow the trail of money.”  See the pennies lined up on the floor?  They were carefully lined up through several rooms.

“Then she’ll want the paper money, the sucker, and the sweet potato.”  I’m not sure Norah knows the term yet but she’s describing “bait.”

“After she gets the money and potato, she’ll sit in the camping chair.  The dragon will scare her and she’ll fall out of the chair, land on the broom, and fly through the air.”  What is the blue napkin for?  “Oh, that is to catch the blood when she lands.  Her nose will be ‘blooding.'”  I’m not sure what the dustpan is for.

Good stuff.

Sadly (for Norah) it didn’t work.  Back to the drawing board.