Monthly Archives: April 2011
Sacred Moments
It was the middle of the day. There were four of us. A woman, her husband, their doula, and a baby ready to be born. The light was muted by curtains. She had carefully created this birthing room in her home.
It was an ordinary weekday. The neighborhood went about its business. The postman delivered the mail. In the distance, someone cut the grass. The school bus picked up and dropped off children.
But inside the birthing room, something transcendent was happening.
Inside the birthing room, there was silence. For an hour, complete silence as the woman worked with her waves. The only sound was water. Each time a wave began, I slowly poured water from a pitcher down her back. And in the background, water flowed from a fountain she had placed in the room.
I didn’t dare speak. The space was heavy with the sacred.
This is what the Lord says—he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and will help you: Do not be afraid…
for I will pour out water on the thirsty land…
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring and my blessing on your descendants.
They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.
(Isaiah 44:2-4)
Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—a place near your altar.
(Psalm 84:3)
This is what the Lord says—he who created you…he who formed you…
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you…
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.”
(Isaiah 43:1-4)
I glimpse the sacred at all births I attend. I feel near to the altar. Like a priestess serving the woman; but ultimately the Author of this new life. It is a meeting of worlds–the spiritual and physical. Soon after, the midwife and her apprentice arrived. The baby was born. And the world carried on, though forever changed by a new life.
As birth servants, may we ever tread carefully in these birthing rooms. These altars.
Jenny’s Hypnobabies Birth
Look, look at these amazing pictures from Jenny’s birth.
Vibrant, alive, active, fresh, pure, intentional. These are the words I think when I look at this birth scene. And full of love, family, smiles, gentleness.
I hope she’ll give me permission to add her birth story to my collection. (No pressure Jenny)
New Anderson Babywearing Group
Upstate Babywearers has added a new group meeting. We now have an Anderson group! The first meeting is April 26th at 6pm. Anderson Library. The plan is to meet the last Tuesday of the month.
Hoorah!
Locals: busy Saturday!
We have two exciting events this Saturday and I know I’ll see many of you there.
First, the Great Cloth Diaper Change. The cloth diaper community is trying for a Guinness World Record: the most diapers changes simultaneously. And, of course, the event will raise awareness about sustainability for Earth Day.
Natural Baby is a host location for Greenville. Please take a bit of time out of your Saturday to join us–your friendly neighborhood changing station! Even if you don’t cloth diaper, you can join in. Just check the appropriate box on the registration and a cloth diaper will be provided.
Go here to register and print your eticket. The event begins at noon but arrive 30 minutes early please.
After you’ve changed your baby’s diaper, go for a walk and have some lunch. Then come back at 2pm for our April Blessingway. April is Cesarean Awareness Month. We’ll hear Erin’s Greer Hospital VBAC story and Angie’s planned cesarean story. Our local ICAN leader, Jenn Anderson, will talk about steps to achieve a VBAC in the upstate. Of course, little ones are always welcome!
See you there!
Men of the Cloth
I’ve taught five Cloth Diaper 101 classes since December. Each time, I think…surely there won’t be any students left in Greenville who will attend. And each time, there is a crowd. Bring in some more chairs!
Yesterday’s class was no different. Except the students were all pregnant for the first time. And each pregnant mama was accompanied by a dad. Perfect dad attendance.
Not only that–some of these dads could have taught the class. They had studied up on cloth! I was amazed at their comments and questions.
While we don’t get gold stars in parenting for using cloth diapers, I’m thrilled that so many couples in Greenville are making this environmental choice. Each parent who makes the choice to cloth diaper reduces our local landfill space by over 2 tons per child.
Well-done, you environmentally savvy couples!
If you’d like to learn more about cloth, the Cloth Diaper 101 class is offered every 3rd Saturday at 1pm. It is free!
The Great Invention (Norah’s booby trap)
Sisters.
Sometimes they play so sweetly. Like when Norah reads to Cedar.
But the rivalry began early. About 2 weeks after Cedar was born, Norah calmly suggested we throw her to the lions. Or take her outside and leave her in the grass.
More recently, Norah announced the completion of her “Great Invention.” In case you haven’t heard, Norah is an excellent engineer. She ties amazing knots (often tying my skirt strings to a kitchen drawer handle while I’m cooking…yes, disaster). Her goal is to become an architect and she designs and builds fun projects: a birdhouse, a leprauchan trap, etc.
And then, The Great Invention.
I was confused when I first saw it. She eagerly explained it to me.
“Cedar will follow the trail of money.” See the pennies lined up on the floor? They were carefully lined up through several rooms.
“Then she’ll want the paper money, the sucker, and the sweet potato.” I’m not sure Norah knows the term yet but she’s describing “bait.”
“After she gets the money and potato, she’ll sit in the camping chair. The dragon will scare her and she’ll fall out of the chair, land on the broom, and fly through the air.” What is the blue napkin for? “Oh, that is to catch the blood when she lands. Her nose will be ‘blooding.'” I’m not sure what the dustpan is for.
Good stuff.
Sadly (for Norah) it didn’t work. Back to the drawing board.
Heard in L&D
“Pitocin is natural. It is the same thing that is in your body to make the baby come out. It even helps your milk come in! All my babies have pitocin.”
Yes, spoken by an OB. I think she even threw in a “girl,” or two into the conversation. As in, “Girl, you’ve done the natural thing long enough. Get the epidural! I did!”
This same friendly OB also ruptured membranes without consent or warning. Usually I am able to intercept a move like that so mom can give consent first, but I completely missed this one. It happened so quickly.
When the mom did get an epidural (at 8cm, AROM) after “bad cop” OB suggested it could be another “five hours of excruciating torture,” pitocin was automatically administered and cranked. The mom was progressing normally. But “good cop” OB wanted to get home. I heard her say this. So Pit was cranked. Not a gradual increase. And I watched baby’s heartrate which had been varying in the 130’s-150’s immediately begin dipping to the 100’s during the fast-peaking pit contractions.
But the pit worked quickly and soon a precious babe joined the world.
I’m thankful mom had a beautiful baby with few complications. I wish the OBs had been more supportive, encouraging, and patient. I wish there had been more informed consent. The mom is happy which is the most important thing and lets me know I did my job. It is her birth; not mine.
What can expectant moms take from this? Talk to the doulas in your community. Even if you don’t plan to hire one. Doulas know the inside scoop. We witness what happens in L&D. All OBs/midwives are not the same! I show pictures. Pictures of different styles in the birth room. A picture speaks a thousand words. Does the doctor wear what looks like a radiation suit; so covered you can’t even recognize her? Does he hand the baby to the nurse instead of the mom? My observations are just one part of the story but they are things I have witnessed. Honestly, how else is a family to know what birth looks like in different environments, with different care providers? I know one mom who wanted to switch to a more natural-birth friendly hospital but one doctor was booked for her date and the other group has a policy about taking patients after a certain date. I was really saddened that she was unable to birth at the hospital she wanted.
So, meet with a doula. Early in pregnancy. When there is time to interview other providers.
First Tooth Fairy Gig
After much drama involving a tooth barely hanging on and twisted sideways. After Norah screaming, “Nobody touch it!!” After encouragement from the Lewis kids. “It won’t hurt and then the tooth fairy will come!” After a quiet counseling session with Noelle. “What makes you afraid? Would you like to pray about your fear of blood?” After walking around with a spit cup because she refused to swallow for an hour (her tongue kept touching the tooth). After a mother contemplating sitting on the child and just getting it over with. Norah calmly walked into the room holding her tooth and feeling as satisfied as I’ve ever seen her.
She had a tiny tooth fairy box that the dentist gave her. To say she was excited is an understatement. She made us take a bazillion pictures.
For the last year, Norah has been very clear about one thing: the tooth fairy will not bring her money. The tooth fairy will “sparkle me.”
Ok, easier said than done. We had glitter glue ready. We had sparkly tattoos on hand. What we didn’t count on: excited child. Norah usually sleeps like a rock. Not this night. Each time we crept in to sparkle her, she woke up! So we did it in increments. Yes, we set the alarm to wake every two hours and try again. One tattoo ended up on her forehead because Scott took advantage of rubbing her head back to sleep. As he talked with her, he was applying the tattoo on her forehead. It is still there.
In the end, we got glitter footprints on her cheek, two tats on her arm, glitter down the other arm, and the tat on her forehead. We also threw glitter all over her bed. No, I didn’t regret that. Totally worth the clean-up.
She was so excited when she woke. She is certain she saw the tooth fairy flying away. Certain. We had to leave early that morning to drive to Atlanta. Norah’s unending chatter and excitement about her tooth helped make the good-byes with my sister, Zach, and Asher a little bit easier.
Of course, after sharing her experience with other kids, she has decided next time she wants money. The paper kind. You know, mom? The green kind.
Inexplicable Ways 