Category Archives: Parenting

Who is this woman?

Posted on April 9, 2008 by juliebyers

Today, having joined other moms at the monthly Cloth Diapering Group to discuss laundry issues and while sharing a cup of organic green tea with agave nectar with my daughter, I wondered…who is this woman?  I once lived off ramen noodles and spent days reading fiction.   

Words overheard at the mom’s group:  poop, growing so fast, amber teething necklace, child-directed, attachment parenting, meltdown, basal temp, environment, your child escaped, sleep, no, raising our children, bamboo, how often do you wash, discipline, microfiber, love and anger, potty, ovulation, mommy’s milk, babylegs, be gentle, odor, odor-remover, nursed all night, share your toys, see you next month. 

My husband asked me last night:  Do you ever think of anything except breasts? 

I had mentioned that stem cells have been found in breastmilk.       

Again, who is this strange woman? 

I like her.

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The Princess and the Pea

Posted on March 25, 2008 by juliebyers

Oh the drama of living with a two year old.  A few days ago, I was on emergency response duty for a piece of wooden swiss cheese that was stuck on Norah’s thumb.  Last night’s adventure topped the cheese. 

We were eating dinner.  Norah’s eyes starting watering and she had a shocked/glazed look on her face.  She was rubbing her nose and trying to dig for gold.  She’s had a runny nose so we thought it was just her sinuses.  After a couple of screams that threatened all the glass in our home, she said, “Mama, bee in my nose.”  I was all sympathy, “Aw, honey bear, I know it feels like there are bees in your nose.”  “NO, mommy, PEA in my nose.”  WHAT?  Scott ran for the headlamp and sure enough, we saw a flash of green up the schnoz. 

After I rolled in the floor laughing for a quick selfish moment, I dialed-a-nurse (aka, my mom) who told me sternly, in the face of my chuckles, that objects up a child’s nose was the number one reason for visits to Urgent Care and I could either get it out myself or expose her precious grandchild to the trauma of invasion at Urgent Care.  My seriousness properly restored, Scott and I brainstormed ideas for pea-removal.  We tried coaxing Norah to blow up a balloon with one nostril.  Scratch that.  We tried getting her to blow out a candle with her nose.  Scratch that.  We practiced sucking peas out of our hand with a bulb syringe.  Scratch that.  In the middle of Scott’s macgyver-ing a tube for me to suck the pea out and my googling “pea stuck up nose,” Norah said, “pepper” and then gave a giant sneeze.  The pea sweetly rolled across the kitchen tile and Norah grinned while chanting, “I did it self.”    

What a fabulous family bonding experience!  What did we do for fun before having a kid? 

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Blessingways and Broken Mornings

Posted on March 18, 2008 by juliebyers

I’m re-reading Spiritual Midwifery and getting lost in the hippie love of the Farm midwives.  Why is it that in almost every Farm birth story, the couple makes out during labor?  I didn’t even think of that during my labor.  I was very close to Scott physically and emotionally during the process and he was very hands on but we weren’t making out.  No.  I asked him if he’d be willing to give it a go next time around.  Of course, he suggested we start practicing right away. 

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Because I’m dreamily lost in the Farm love, my background music carries the smell of patchouli.  Yesterday, Norah and I were riding in the car.  I was listening to a Cat Stevens song.  Norah asked, “What’s dat song called?”  I said, “It’s called ‘Morning has Broken.'”  Norah:  “It needs batteries, Mommy?”

This Saturday is our monthly Blessingway at UCEDS.  The Blessingways are free and open to anyone.  It is our way of surrounding new and expectant families with positive support and mindful information.  Caryn will be sharing her birth story and then we’ll have an informational session on Cloth Diapering 101.  We need experienced women with encouraging wisdom to bless these new families.  We meet from 2-4 at UCEDS the 4th Saturday of each month.  Children are welcome.       

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“The Walt”

Posted on March 7, 2008 by juliebyers

Norah has a new thing.  It surely has something to do with being a two-year old.  It goes a little something like this:

N:  “I want yogurt.”  (in a scream)

Me:  “Ok”

N:  “NOOOOOOOO.  I want applesauce.” (louder scream)

Me:  “Sure.”

N:  “Aaaaahhhhhh!  I want cereal.”  (high pitched panic scream)

Me:  “Norah, no big deal.  You can have whichever you want.”

She then falls into the floor in a rage.  The crying and hiccoughing just goes on and on.  It is pitiful.  It doesn’t change if I hold her or leave her alone.  She is inconsolable.   

It can be about anything/everything.  Where she wants to sit or stand.  What music she wants.  Whatever.  Scott and I have named it “The Walt” after Walt Whitman’s line:  Do I contradict myself?  Very well then, I contradict myself.  (I am large, I contain multitudes).  I’m having a tough time with “The Walt” and Norah’s largeness.  No matter how I respond (or don’t respond), it seems to make it worse.  It doesn’t seem to be food or sleep related.  I plan to read Your Two Year Old tonight for ideas.   

Meanwhile, take a look at Norah’s latest art.  Does this look a little scarlet letterish to you?  She had an entire palette of colors but only touched red and orange. 

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Jesus was breastfed.

Posted on February 24, 2008 by juliebyers

I realize this topic is everywhere and I probably don’t need to add my two cents.  Moreover, if you’re reading my blog, you probably already agree with me.  Still, I cannot help myself.  Deep breath.  Climbing on the soapbox.

The NY State Museum–a place I’ve visited several times–recently required a woman who was nursing her 2 month old to either feed her baby in the bathroom or leave.  In NY, as in most states (including SC), a woman may breastfeed in public anywhere she is permitted to be.  Why is this civil right so difficult to understand?  I’m blown away that this basic human survival mechanism is even an issue.  Then I read the comments in the news post.  They are always the same.  And they always indicate a profound misunderstanding of the incredible way human babies have eaten since the first baby was born!  Before I breastfed, I might have thought this way, too.

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  • Why doesn’t she bring a bottle?  Well, perhaps her baby won’t take a bottle.  Perhaps she is concerned about nipple confusion.  Perhaps she doesn’t want to worry about pumping, milk storage temperature, and finding a place to warm a bottle.  Perhaps she knows that breastfeeding leads to better oral alignment than bottle feeding.  Perhaps she knows that breastfeeding is better for maintaining milk supply than pumping.  This list goes on. 
  • Why doesn’t she feed her baby at home?  Well, 2 month olds eat frequently.  The NY State Museum has a cafe on the 4th floor for the patrons.  Why shouldn’t the 2 month old eat?  If the mom is to feed her baby at home only, then she has a small window of time she can leave the house! 
  • Why doesn’t she feed her baby in the bathroom?  Um, gross.  Would you eat in a public restroom?  Do bottle-feeding moms have to feed their babies in the bathroom? 
  • Why doesn’t she cover up?  Well, this mom was covered up.  But she didn’t have to be.  The law does not require her to cover up.  Some babies won’t tolerate a blanket covering them while they eat (case-in-point Norah).  I keep hearing the phrase “whip out a boob.”  I’ve never seen a mother breastfeeding in a public place who whipped out her breast.  Most moms are trying not to call attention to what they are doing.  The baby typically offers plenty of coverage.  Still, even if they “whip out a boob,” they are within their rights to do that.
  • Why is she so uncaring of my poor husband’s/teen son’s sensibilities?  This comment really bugs me.  It is this “sensibility” that keeps perpetuating the argument!  Moms breastfeeding in public provide a perfect teaching moment for you to remind teens that the primary function of breasts is to feed babies.  Breastfeeding is healthy for both mom and baby in so many ways (101, in fact).  And if the sight of a lactating mom sends your hubby spiraling into sexual fantasy–well, maybe he needs some counseling.   

Did I miss any of the common concerns that the uninformed have regarding feeding our babies?  I remember reading the story of a doctor working in a non-Western country.  He walked into a room of mothers nursing their babies.  There was a flurry of covering up.  Only…the moms were covering their heads; not their nursing babies.       

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Puddle-Jumping

Posted on December 28, 2007 by juliebyers

I introduced Norah to puddle-jumping today.  She had so much fun and kept asking, “Mama, dat pell?”  (that smell?) as she sniffed the puddles.  She was soaked, cold, and happy when I carried her in for a warm bath.  One day, we’ll puddle-jump Pinnacle-style.

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This morning, she “read” my Alfie Kohn book Unconditional Parenting for about 20 minutes.  She pretended to turn the pages and read aloud a complicated story about Scott going to work.  When she finished, she brought the book to me and declared, “Mommy, good story.”  Smart child.  It is a great little book. 

Meanwhile, this hot guy just called me and asked me out on a date tonight.  So, I better change out of my “mom” clothes (prana yoga pants/chacos) and get into my “outdoor girl” clothes (prana climbing pants/chacos) to impress this sexy man.  My wardrobe is pretty simple…

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Morning Snapshot

Posted on December 18, 2007 by juliebyers

I am going to admit it:  we have absolutely no routine or any semblance of schedule to our days.  It is 11:15am and Norah is still asleep.  Wake her up?  Are you crazy?

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Yesterday, she woke at 5am.  Bedtime?  Sometimes 8pm.  Sometimes 11.  We have tried the bedtime “routines.”  Didn’t take.  Quite frankly, if she’s ok with our ever-changing days, then I’m ok with it.  Scott and I aren’t big on routine either.  She perfectly fits the description of children who are not biologically wired for routine in Raising Your Spirited Child.  The author of this book writes that you can peg these children from birth.  Yep.  My life involves dragging Norah with me to groups, appointments, coffee shops (which are not kid-friendly at all!).  Whoever coined the phrase “stay-at-home-mom” must not have met one–we’re rarely at home. 

I love having a two-year old.  She is so much fun (and yes, so challenging).  Eavesdropping on her play, one sees her do things like: bake a turkey in the oven (the oven is beneath the kitchen baseboard and the turkey is a wooden xylophone), comfort her baby (the baby is an inkpen and yes she does pretend to nurse it, wrap it on her back, and swaddle it with my kitchen towel), or build a duplo tower–this weekend her tower was 32 blocks high and she was standing on the couch to hold it.

The challenges:  a few days ago, I was hurrying her (we had to get to the coffee shop!) and she said, “Hold your horses, Ju-ie.”  Or the day she popped every key off my laptop.  Saturday, she ran toward the road and when I caught her, she whacked me between the eyes.  We went inside the house and talked about safety.  Yesterday, when we took Jude out, Norah warned him not to run toward the road.  I know you’re not really supposed to reason with a 2 year old, but it works sometimes with Norah.  Like, putting a toy she wants back on the store shelf because “it needs to stay with it’s mommy.”  And now my sleepy little one has wandered in.  Must put away my Kentucky Derby pie, pumpkin coffee, and computer.  Must slice apples.  Thank you, mom, for the apple slicer.  How did I ever live without it??

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Walls that withstand

Posted on December 11, 2007 by juliebyers

Having a two-year old is like having a puppy all over again.  We are potty-learning.  Which means the wee one runs bare-bummed about the house while I cross my fingers that she will tell me she needs to potty or I will see the signs.  We do not always succeed.  Which is why Scott’s shoes and my friend Joy’s book “Song of the Bride” are sitting on the front porch.  Yep, Norah released the flood on these lucky objects.  Sorry friends. 

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Meanwhile, Norah and I continue to fight our cold.  The illness has motivated Norah to use grand sentence structure, “My nose hurts.”  We are taking a homeopathic treatment derived from a geranium that the Zulu tribes used.  Somehow I can’t picture Zulu warriers with colds.  On top of that, I bought an ear candle but haven’t worked up the nerve to use it yet.  I’ve been using a remedy my 4th grade teacher told me about:  heat salt, place into a towel, hold hot salt pack against ear.  I don’t know why that helps…but it really does.  Thanks Mrs. Allen!   

We celebrated Norah’s two-year birthday Sunday.  She received a Radio Flyer wagon, an indoor tent (to be her new comfort corner), plan toys vegetable garden w/ grandpa and grandma dolls (Nana), Haba wooden fruit, the book Mom and Dad are Palindromes (Zach and Noelle), and a shopping cart full of play food and goodies (Grammy and Papa).  Oh, and of course, Grammy and Papa added to Norah’s college fund.  She may not appreciate it now but I know we all will later!  It was a lovely, low-key celebration.   

I give you names like nails, walls that withstand your pounding, doors that are hard to open, but once they are open, admit you into rooms that breathe pure sun.  I give you trees that lose their leaves, as you knew they would, and then come green again.  I give you fruit preceded by flowers.  Venus supreme in the sky, the miracle of always landing on your feet, even though the earth rotates on its axis.  Start out with that, at least.  –birthday poem by Lisel Mueller

 

 

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