How: Rent a space to sell your baby items or enter raffles to win wonderful gifts!
Join us as we say farewell to a local mama by raising awareness about human trafficking. Noelle Slagel will be returning to Cambodia on March 23rd with her husband and 6 month old son. Noelle will again be working with girls who have been rescued from brothels. Only this time, she’s a mama and needs to have a village of mamas supporting her.
We need your help to make this day a success!
We’re asking you to gather your gently used diapers, baby clothes, and gear to sell or swap. We’ll have a space for you to throw down a blanket and display your items. You keep your earnings and you’re responsible for all of your money and swaps. We suggest a 5.00 donation to “rent” your space.
We’ll also have raffle tickets for 1.00/ticket. Some of the raffles include a 1-hour massage by Blissful Massage, Henna Art by Katy, a free 3-d Ultrasound, and much more!
All proceeds from the day will go to Noelle. We’ll have info on how you can follow her journey and how you can get involved in local efforts to end human trafficking.
For parents who just want to come and shop for great deals, no need to rsvp. We’ll see you there!
If you’d like to reserve space to sell your stuff, please rsvp here or by emailing info (at) ilovenaturalbaby (dot) com. We’ll send you more info as the date draws near.
We’d like to make The Fair Exchange a semi-annual event to benefit other moms on a mission. But we will need your help!
Mindful Birth: I have a few spots available for this childbirth class series. We’re planning the reunion now for the babies born in the last series. It is so wonderful to see couples on the other side of their births feeling strong and empowered by their experience! Class begins March 25th and will meet until May 4th–a mix of Fridays and Wednesdays to accommodate schedules. 7pm-9pm in Greenville. Email for more info (j_byers (at) bellsouth (dot) net)
Hypnobabies: Begins May 6th and will meet for six consecutive Fridays from 6pm-9pm. I have three spots remaining for this popular series.
Cloth Diapering 101: I teach this class every 3rd Saturday at Natural Baby. 1pm. So, March 19 (following the amazing fundraiser/consignments sale—more to come on that), join me to learn about your options for cloth diapering. Last month was standing room only!
* Norah no longer says “deseasers” when she means “tweezers.”
* And “hotella” for “nutella.”
* When Cedar no longer runs through the house carrying her step-stool so she can hang with the humans over three feet tall.
* Picking out little girl clothes. Norah won’t let me dress her anymore.
* The pigtails!
* Norah’s imagination. Or as she says, “Mommy, I’m imaginating something.” Here is a recent example. Norah and her friend Ryleigh had a playdate a few months ago. Ryleigh has a stuffed Rudolph. Norah has a stuffed Clarice. A week ago, Clarice gave birth to a small moose named Clancy. Clarice has been a great mom. Norah makes sure that Clancy is nursed to sleep each night and fed on demand throughout the day. However, Norah has tremendous anxiety because Rudolph has not met his son. I’m talking quite the tantrums to see Ryleigh RIGHT NOW. I did call Ryleigh’s mom so she could tell Rudolph about his son. And we have a playdate arranged this week so the family can be re-united.
I should mention that the little plastic guy in the picture is Hansel. He is forlorn because Ryleigh has his wife, Gretel. He’s waiting for the playdate, too.
* I’m going to miss babywearing. Cedar already wants to (GASP) ride in the shopping cart!
Many more things will be missed. What will not be missed is the screaming sibling fight that is breaking out AS I TYPE. “My castle! I had it first!”
I came home from the Blessingway yesterday–which was wonderful, by the way–and found my Mr. Handyman made these wonderful shelves for Norah’s room.
The wall has such a tiny clearance from the door. But these narrow shelves are perfect for a book display. And Norah will enjoy changing out her books in her crazy love for patterns and arrangment.
I admit that I had fun arranging this display. Did I ever tell you guys that I secretly long to be a librarian? And even majored in library science for a semester? Yep. A whole semester. That was between the pre-med and anthropology semesters.
Which I don’t speak. And neither did my client. But the nurse assumed from her dark skin that she did.
My client was a first time mom. She had spent most of her labor at home. Beautifully relaxed. Quiet. Intuitive. She was fully dilated when we arrived and pushing with small “ahhhhs” and grunts.
When it was discovered in triage that she was fully dilated, the energy went through the roof. Nurse yells for a precip tray, un-brakes the bed and begins rolling it down the hall. Instructions: “don’t push, honey, just breathe through them.” Flurry. Another nurse appears and looks at my client with pity, “Sweetie, did you mean to go natural?” The dad is frightened by all the activity.
We arrive in a room. IV antibiotics are started (GBS +). Belts strapped on her belly. Blood pressure cuff. Thermometer. Dr. Ken Barbie enters.
Mom asks if she can push in a squat. Ken Barbie says “no, we need to get this baby out quickly because I don’t know what’s been happening in there.”
Stirrups raised. Legs held back. “You’re having a contraction, can you feel that?”
She shakes her head “no.” I mean, she’s been a bit distracted by all the madness.
“Well you are. And you need to use it. So take a deep breath, hold it, chin to chest, pull your legs back and PUSH. 1…2…3…4…NO, don’t let your air out! Again, deep breath…”
And then the nurse switches to Spanish.
Sigh. Many of my clients choose to arrive at the hospital late in labor. And I am struggling to find ways to lower the adrenaline when we get there. Literally at a recent birth, the nurse was asking the mom (in between pushes) questions like “Do you have electricity in your home?” “Is this man the father of the baby and will he be going home with you?” And sometimes, it doesn’t matter how early we arrive, when a woman begins pushing at the hospital, the energy skyrockets. I especially love the tray of scary instruments that is wheeled into view.
Yet, out-of-hospital, this stage is often the quietest. The mom is focused and serious. The caregivers may murmur a few “beautiful…you’re doing it” or “push with your body” affirmations but are mostly quiet. And the moms who are encouraged to “push with your body” don’t often “take a breath, hold it, chin to chest, PUSH! 1…2…3….10.” They give 5 or 6 small grunty pushes or they breathe their baby down. Sometimes they skip a few pushes to get some rest. Often, their own adrenaline causes them to rise up, lean forward. Rarely does a woman intuitively lie back and pull her legs back.
I’d love to show L&D nurses videos like this one or this one:
Instead, many of them are trained in this way. I realize that most of their patients have epidurals and may need help with pushing but PLEASE remember that most unmedicated women do not need to know when or how to push.
Norah (5 yrs), who has been helping me write this post, would like to tell everyone that “squatting is best. I know it is best.”
I’d love to hear from other doulas how you change the energy during this stage.
I remember her towels. For some reason, I keep coming back to the image of her soft, perfectly folded white towels. They were so incredibly neat and tidy. And pure.
I wasn’t supposed to be her doula. My partner had called me at the last minute and I entered her space for the first time when she was in labor. She was stunning. Brilliant red hair and a quiet strength. This was their first baby and they wanted to stay home for most of their labor.
I remember some funny things. Some things that will remain unsaid. I remember in active labor, I looked over and saw a shotgun (rifle?) by the bed. I wondered if it was wise to have a gun so close to a woman in active labor. I remember the ways I flubbed up. One incident made my blooper page. I remember laughter.
We arrived at the birth center. She was fully dilated and quickly pushed her baby into her husband’s hands. A son.
During her postpartum, when she needed extra help with breastfeeding, I brought lactation help. We spent hours in her home. It was the intimate time of women with the new mother. We three cried when her milk came.
Her mothering was fierce and deliberate. She is the kind of mother we need more of.
Last week, she died from an aggressive cancer. She leaves behind her precious husband, her toddler, and her born-too-soon baby girl. And it is awful. It is wrong. And not meant to be like this.
Yet, there is beauty–certainly in her life–but also in her passing. I heard her name from so many places during her illness. People who didn’t even know her. She breathed grace and confidence and HOPE. This is the mystery of redemption. That God, who does not want suffering, can redeem it. Beauty from ashes. If we let him.
When I remember Jessica, it will always be a vision of those white towels. And I’ll hope that my life will be as well-lived.
Fun things that have happened in my house over the last couple of months:
♥ Cedar ate my contact lens.
I saw proof that she ate my contact lens when spraying her poop into the toilet.
♥ To Norah, I made the mistake of explaining “having your loins girt about with truth” as “putting on your truth panties.” Norah is memorizing Ephesians 6 as part of her classical program. I despise that she has to learn it in the King James Version because of such explanations.
Now Norah has “magic panties.”
♥ And yesterday I heard this: “I have to be the special-est because I’m the one with the magic panties. Cedar can’t be the special-est because she doesn’t even have panties. And if you don’t give me the hippopatomus RIGHT NOW, I’m gonna throw trash at you!”
I heard these words because Cedar got the hippo vitamin and Norah got the lion.
♥ Norah has also learned a bit about Russia. She tells me that Czar Ivan the Great put a gremlin in Moscow.
And WWII. She explains that the US dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki and “Hero She-Ra” in 1945. She’s been loving old She-Ra episodes on netflix.
♥ Cedar now speaks in sentences. But she speaks Ewok. I’m certain it isn’t English. Very cute curvy tongue kind of talk. It sounds like “duey, duey, oooo, phftt, phftt, phftt, leur, long, ohhhh, duey”
♥ During a stressed moment, I told Norah to give me some space. She did. And made up a song to entertain me, “Mommies are supposed to be nice. Mommies are not to be mean. Mommies do not need space. They want to snuggle all day. Mommies are supposed to be nice. Mommies are not to be mean. Mommies never yell. They play all day.”
♥ We removed the handle from the oven drawer under our stove because Cedar kept climbing on it. After a few frustrated attempts, she abandoned the drawer. Success! After a few moments, she returned to the kitchen with a stool. Now she can reach everything. Fail.
♥ Another success/fail: We discovered that Cedar loves fish oil. Great! DHA/EPA are good things. But, oh the breath. Oh the breath. And, no, please do NOT nurse after taking the fish oil.
I used this script at my Hypno-Doula Training Workshop last week and I remembered that it is free to anyone who wants to try it! It is a script that can be used for any stressful situation. “Relax Me” helps you create a cue word for instant relaxation and confidence when handling tricky event.
Um, like when you’re about to blow up at the children.
Click “add to cart” for the Relax Me script and when you checkout (again, it is free), you’ll receive an email with instant mp3 download instructions.
It takes about 25 minutes to listen to it. The more you listen to it, the more powerful the effects will be. If you fall asleep while listening to it, so be it. Your subconscious will keep hearing the suggestions for staying calm and confident.
Join us as we say farewell to a local mama by raising awareness about human trafficking. Noelle Slagel will be returning to Cambodia on March 23rd with her husband and 6 month old son. Noelle will again be working with girls who have been rescued from brothels. Only this time, she’s a mama and needs to have a village of mamas supporting her.
Norah has also learned a bit about Russia. She tells me that Czar Ivan the Great put a 
Inexplicable Ways 