Author Archives: juliebyers

Ms. Fix-It

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Norah:  Daddy, why are you throwing away that door?

Scott:  It’s broken.

Norah:  Maybe we should call Joseph.

Scott:  Who?

Norah:  Jesus’ daddy.  He can fix it.  Or maybe Jesus could fix it.  Or the shepherds.  Or you, Daddy.

Scott:  What about Mary?

Norah:  She can’t fix it.  She’s a mommy.

Scott:  Mommies fix things.

Norah:  Mommy fixes dinner.  And she fixes me juice.  That is all she fixes. 

Ouch!  I thought we were doing a good job at non-gendering.  I think proper education needs to happen.  And I need to fix some things.

Story

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I’ve added a new birth to the birth story section of my blog.  Check it out!

Bri’s VBAC homebirth

I love lists

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a la Parton Ponderings

Reading:  The Road of Lost Innocence (I alternate between reading it and throwing it across the room)
 
Listening:  Still loving Great Lake Swimmers.
 
Watching:  Youtube videos of ballet performances per Norah’s request.
 
Cooking:  My share of a grass-fed, healthy cow affectionately named Huey.
 
Wearing:  Nursing tanks and this new skirt
 
Wishing:  I could teleport
 
Thinking:  About a new birth project–wait and see!
 
Craving:  Red beans and rice
 
Digging:  The Sermon on the Mount podcast series from Mars Hill (the Grand Rapids one; decidedly NOT the Seattle one)
 
Excited About:  a baby for my baby sister
 
Laughing At:  How much Cedar loves food
 
Hoping:  I can figure out this Elimination Communication thing
 
Annoyed With:  the current disorganization of my household
 
Feeling Bad:  Haven’t spent enough time with dear friends lately
 
Loving:  Norah’s thirst to learn–she’s into lighthouses and bird-watching lately
 
Planning:  my current Hypnobabies class

Solid Food Poo Meets the BG Diaper Sprayer

I feel like “Kung Fu Fighting” should be playing in the background as I type. 

Cedar is enjoying solids.  I have mixed feelings.  Because solids = poo that doesn’t rinse out in the wash.  My life has gotten more complicated.  Enter the bumGenius diaper sprayer.  I didn’t have one of these gadgets with Norah.  My “dealing with the poopies” method with her was decidedly low-tech.  Hint:  it involved toilet paper.  Thank you, Katy and John, for gifting us with the fancy schmancy sprayer!  It attaches to the toilet and we (and by “we” I mean “I”) spray the poo into oblivion. 

Of course, since I frequently shoot for the stars, I chose to feed Cedar some blueberries.  Yeah.  I wanted to put the sprayer (and my stomach) to the test. 

That said, after Marion’s presentation on EC at the Blessingway today, perhaps I won’t have many poopy diapers in my future.  We shall see.

So what does the wee soon-to-be-7-month old eat?  She loves avocado, apples, zucchini, carrots, butternut squash to name a few.  I don’t follow many of the food rules.  I don’t introduce one thing at a time.  I don’t mash it all into oblivion after reading about gag reflexes and spoon feeding.  For instance, I steam the carrots and then bite off tiny pieces so she can play with them and chomp.  The only thing she has refused was barley.  I ended up eating it all.  Which is the beauty of making baby food–I’m willing to eat it too.  This morning she devoured part of my whole wheat banana pancake.  All in all, she’s an enthusiastic eater with many adorable mmmm sounds and blissed out faces. 

And finally, I have it from a lovely medical professional that Cedar is perfect.  I mean, I knew that.  But it is nice to have it officially stated.

Tomorrow’s Blessingway

Don’t forget tomorrow’s Blessingway at Earth Fare.  I’m so excited to hear Marion Heinert speak about Elimination Communication.  Just a tantalizing excerpt from her presentation:

EC is not toilet training, it is engaging in communication and becoming in tune with the baby by responding to a basic need. Diaper free has a much broader meaning than just going diaperless. It means freedom from an exclusive reliance on diapers following an easy rhythm that everyone can establish with baby. Have you noticed that many newborns will pee when their diapers are being taken off? This is mostly because they don’t want to wet themselves! By ignoring a baby’s elimination signal we are asking the baby to tune out a natural instinct. With EC the baby learns to trust, that you will respond to his/her needs (a vital part of Attachment Parenting). The baby maintains the bodily awareness he/she was born with and over time can make associations between cues and elimination.

Cedar peed on the toilet a few times when she was a few weeks old but I got side-tracked by other issues and EC fell by the wayside.  It is never too late, though, and I am looking forward to Marion’s encouragement and wisdom. 

We’re also going to hear Kathleen’s positive Greenville Memorial birth story.  I happened to be present for Kathleen’s birth.  Come hear how she intimidated all the nurses to stand against the wall and let her do her birthy thing. 

See you tomorrow at 2pm in Earth Fare’s community room.  Also, the folks at Earth Fare tell me there is a big event there tomorrow with bluegrass and loads of vendors so you might want to schedule some time to enjoy the festivities and freebies. 

Dads are always welcome at Blessingways as are older children.  Expect a little (or alot) of noise and chaos.  This is not a formal group!

ETA:  Just after typing this post, I was inspired to put Cedar on the toilet when she woke from her nap.  I used the same cue I tried when she was a newborn.  She went almost immediately.  Yes, I’m totally motivated!

What’s Your Hurry?

As the wonderful Karen Strange says, ” birth was designed to work in case no one was there.”

Birth is a big package.  Hormones are released at just the right moments to serve special functions, baby does things to help mama, mama does things to help baby.  The team is the mother/baby.  They are working together in an ancient process.  The biology of birth does not assume that anyone else is required or essential to the process.  Or any special equipment. 

My point is not that we should give birth alone.  My point is that for most births there is time to take a step back when the baby is born.  To give some space to the mom/baby team.  Do we need to suction every baby before placing her on mama’s chest?  Do we need to clamp the cord right away?  Even 2 minutes later?  Do we need to give mom a shot of pitocin?  Do we need to tug on the cord to get that pesky placenta out?  Do we need to dry the baby vigorously with a towel?  Does the baby need to cry?   

Maybe. 

Maybe not. 

Obstetrician Michel Odent warns, “Don’t wake the mother” during this stage.  She is releasing an enormous hormonal cocktail and loud voices, bright lights, flurried activity, Pitocin, suturing (especially suturing!) can interrupt this release.   

Here are just a few of the awesome things that happen when the baby is born:

  • Skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding release oxytocin which helps the uterus contract and birth the placenta.
  • Babies use their vision and smell to find their way to mom’s nipple which has darkened during pregnancy (studies show babies are attracted to circles) and emits a smell similar to amniotic fluid. 
  • Blood vessels in mom’s chest expand causing her chest to heat up significantly so she can warm her baby.
  • The pulsing cord gives the baby a final boost of oxygenated blood.
  • When baby latches onto the breast, the hormones prolactin (milk-release), endorphins, and dopamine are released.
  • A combination of colostrum from the breast, bacteria from the mom’s vagina, and the vernix coating the baby’s skin all work to protect the baby from harmful bacteria. 

Such a beautiful interdependence.  Such a beautiful start to a lifelong interdependence. 

The thing I love MOST about homebirth is how this stage is honored.  At the hospital, there is flurry and procedure.  I understand that–it is a medical environment.  At home, there is an unquestioned acceptance of the connected purpose of mom and baby.  Even in emergencies, midwives often keep mom and baby together.   

When you pick your birthplace, be mindful of this stage of birth as well.  You might talk to your doctor or midwife about how you can keep the first hour following birth low-key and hands-off.  Ask your doula how she can help guard the space around you.

Birth is a Dance

“Birth is a dance and we’re following the woman in labor.  We dance around her.  She’s the most powerful person in the room because she’s giving life.  We stay back until we get the signs–the smell of amniotic fluid and other changes–and then the energy goes up in the room.  She calls out to us.  The mother has to feel safe in a trusting environment.  She has to know she can scream or cry or do whatever she wants and it will be ok, she’ll be loved.  She’s got to create the situation in which she will be nourished.  She has to own the accomplishment of birth.”

–Juliana Fehr, Ph.D/midwife (quoted in Creating Your Birth Plan by Marsden Wagner)

Dear Super Nurse

Dear Super Nurse,

I smiled when I realized that you were going to be my client’s nurse!  Experience has shown me that you are something special indeed.  And this birth was no different. 

You never left my client’s side.  Unbelievable!  You didn’t go to the nurse’s station and monitor from afar.  I don’t think I’ve ever known a nurse who stayed in the room the whole time (except for a few quick births!). 

You were accommodating and patient.  You held the monitors in place–I know your arms were tired! 

You never suggested pain medication.  You gave my client confidence.                            

Your voice was quiet.  You didn’t “count to 10” with each push. 

Once the baby was born, you gave the new mama space to know her baby without extra distractions.  You kept the lights dim. 

A nurse can make or break a birth experience.  She can bring tension into the room or focus too much on “the way it is always done.”  Or, she can remember that this birth is the first one of its kind.  That this day will never be forgotten.  That the birthing woman isn’t stupid or without a voice.  That the birth partner is also part of the experience. 

Thanks Beth at Greer Memorial.  You’re wonderful!

Words at the Family Gathering

[interrupting my discourse on Jesus and breastfeeding]

Scott: I know what I’m gonna build you!

Me: Ooo, what?

Scott: A soapbox.

Moving through the waves

I was the doula for a Hypnobabies student recently.  She was a first-time mom planning a hospital birth. 

Now, I’ll let you in on a little doula secret:  when we think first-time mom, we plan for her to go past her due date and for the birth to be on the long-ish side.  So, quite honestly, I didn’t have her on the radar just yet.  It was still a few days until her guess date. 

However, I also know that Hypnobabies can result in shorter labors. 

When she texted at 8pm, her pressure waves were 7-8 minutes apart.  When I arrived at 9:30, I couldn’t tell when one began and one ended.  They seemed to be on top of each other.  She was using her “Peace” cue beautifully and moving through the waves.  By 1:30am, when we rolled into the hospital, she was 9-10cm dilated. 

She told me she found the car ride “relaxing.” 

I can’t wait to start a new Hypnobabies series next week!  I do have one spot left in my class.  Let me know if you’d like to sign up or spread the word to a pregnant friend.